Almost Is Never Enough
by toridw317
Summary: Emma and Jax seem to have weathered the storm in their relationship. With ATF, and an tragic death will Emma be there to support Jax and SAMCRO, or will other issues cloud the way?
1. Chapter 1

It is the typical Saturday night here at Bruno's, married, gray hair, nerdy, and touchy men. You name it we got the usual clientele. You think that with a club located near a town Charming, it would actually have charming residents. We'll you can guess it doesn't. Bruno's is your typical strip club. Converted abandoned warehouse, black lights, various poles located throughout the floor, blasting music, and an upper floor for "private shows". The sad thing is most of these girls do not know how to work a metal pole, but the other type of pole. That is why me, Emma, aka Vanilla, is one of the main attractions because I know how to work an actual pole. This results in a lot of pettiness among the uppity girls, which I tend to ignore. The only girl who I am close to is Sabrina, aka Sparkle, who is also my roommate. Sabrina was able to take me under her wing, and give this inexperienced 19 year old a few lessons on how to work the pole for a living; although it did help I took dance lessons and gymnastics when I was younger. The only reason I am here besides the nice stack of cash I make a night is to open my own dance or fitness studio, and Charming seems the perfect place, when I discovered it 6 months ago.

"Van, you are up in five minutes," our boss/bodyguard Kev calls outside my dressing room. Finishing putting on my costume and makeup I make my way to the main stage. Here we go.

* * *

"Whistler, I told you cannot touch me while I am performing," I try to say nicely while on stage. This creep just cannot take a hint.

"Vanilla, what is the point of you shaking your ass and dressed like that if I can't touch you?" he says arrogantly while surrounded by his crew, who happens to be the Nords, "when are you gonna' let me take you to the upper floor for a private show?" The asshole goes to try to touch me again.

Stopping my dance for him and his imbecile crew, "First of all when you come in, they tell you NOT to touch the strippers. Secondly, I am not a goddamn prostitute. If you want a so called show on the upper floor go find another stripper here. Thirdly, I would never ever perform privately for you, so get it out your freaking mind, and you need to get over your fascination of me. Just to let you know I am done," grabbing my bag of money, and making my way down, "if you bother me again I will have no problem telling Kev, and if you keep persisting I will contact the authorities."

Going to make my way to another table, I am abruptly grabbed by my arm and forced to the end of the table, "Who the fuck do you think you are? You really going to try and threaten me, you better come to realize that if I want you, I will have you." He forcefully grabs my boob, and on reflex I bring my knee up, which brings him down. Where are the goddamn bodyguards, walking away from him and his disgusting crew, I go to find Kev. I only find Kev to be distracted by one of the goddamn strippers giving him head. _Disgusting. _

"Kev, I am done for the night and going home"

Bringing him somewhat of his trance, and having his no shame attitude just mumbles an okay.

* * *

Getting out of my Silver Chevrolet Silverado, I make my way into the three bedroom apartment I share with Sabrina I have shared with her for the past two months. Out of habit, I check behind me to make sure no one has follow me or more importantly Whistler hasn't followed me. Realizing the coast is clear, I make my way to the apartment complex only to be thrown back by the lobby door being forcibly opened. _Shit, there goes my goddamn ankle; I knew I should have changed out of my heels. _

"Shit, darlin' are you alright?" looking up I realize it is Jax, Sabrina's "boyfriend" Happy's friend and my former love interest so to speak. Crunching down to expect my ankle, when he notices my heels, he quirks his eyebrows but does not say anything. When he lightly touches my ankle I hiss before he can say anything more.

"What are you doing here Jax?" I say finding my voice.

"I actually came by to see you," he whispers.

"At 2 o'clock in the morning?"

"I used to do it before."

"Jax, you need to stop this. It would be easier if you didn't do this," I say lightly to him.

"I know it's been two months, but god I miss you so much," he says in a broken voice looking into my eyes.

Turning my head away from him I try to stand up, but fail miserably and Jax is at my side holding me to him.

"Its fine, I can make my way up," I say trying to detach myself from Jax. The physical contact needs to stop.

"Your guy's elevator is broken, I don't mind," Jax replies. I reluctantly give him.

"Sorry about this," Jax says, "I think it will be easier if I carried you, that way there will be no pressure on your ankle at all."

"Umm, okay," the next thing I know I am being carried bridal style to my apartment. While on the way to my apartment, I am too distracted by the smell of his leather, cigarettes, and faint smell of motor grease I realize that I missed.

"Hey, do you have your keys?" Jax asks while we reach my door.

"Sabrina should still be up, she usually waits till I come home from work, just knock," I say quietly.

Before knocking, "Is there a problem at your new job?"

Well isn't he a concerned citizen, "No," I lied if you consider Whistler, "it is just the hours."

Before he can answer the door opens, "Em! What happened?! Did this happen at work? Was it Whistler?" Sabrina shoots off a million questions, and at the mention of Whistler's name Jax stiffens and looks down at me.

"Geez, S, no it happen outside, I fell, and messed up my ankle," I say quietly.

"Well look you're wearing your goddamn heels!" she reprimands me.

"Naw, it wasn't her fault. I opened the door to fast, and she fell," Jax intercedes.

"Well can we go into the apartment and discuss this inside," I say before they continue talking.

"How about we talk about this when we don't have the company of Jax," Sabrina says.

Jax goes to my room; he lays me on the edge of my bed and removes my heels for me. This is the one time I am actually ashamed of being a stripper. "Since you obviously aren't talking and figured it out, I am a stripper."

Looking up from what he was doing, "Why?"

"Because I need money," I shrug.

"There are a lot of other ways to earn money. You could have stayed working at the shop no matter what happened between us." He should of mentioned his mother.

"There is nothing wrong with being a stripper" I counter.

"You are 19," he says looking me in the eyes.

"So your 21, I am pretty sure there are a lot of things you do and you don't see me grilling you. Stop acting like my goddamn boyfriend, or worse step-father."

"I just want to know why the fuck are you stripping?"

"Will you lower your voice, and it is not any of your goddamn business why I am stripping. Don't you need to go deal club business or a croweater to keep you company?"

"Actually, I don't. Is Whistler bothering you?"

"Actually I think you need to go. I really appreciate you helping and all, but I think you should just go Jax" I say deflecting the conversation away from Whistler.

Not speaking for a second, he rubs his hands through his goatee. "Do you mind if I check in on ya' later in the day? Just to see how you are doing?"

"If it makes you feel better," I say giving him a smile.

* * *

After Jax leaves, I strip down and head to take a bath. Half-way through my bath Sabrina makes her way in.

"So was that story Jax feed me true?" She asks sitting on the toilet.

"Yeah it actually was, he was apparently here to see me again"

"I know, I had to listen to him reminisce about your guys' good times," she giggles.

"I don't understand what is so funny? He put himself in the situation I am sorry I didn't like to be blindsided about his club business, and it didn't help Gemma had no problem telling me I was too naive and not cut out for the life."

"You and him are a whole different story, though Em. I mean he would have told you eventually. I think he enjoyed being Jackson Teller, a normal 21 year old. Not Jax, the VP of an outlaw club."

"I don't know. There was this whole part of him he didn't tell me. I mean this is a pretty big part of his life. Maybe he was right; I couldn't and can't handle it. It was better to end it than before we got too invested."

"He wanted you as his old lady? He still loves you; it should count as something right?"

"Old lady?" I scoff. "Are you Happy's old lady?"

"Umm no Hap and I aren't that serious." She says sadly.

"Oh…sorry I shouldn't have brought it up" I say.

"But how was work because you were early, if you think I didn't notice." Sabrina says changing the topic.

"It was Whistler again…"

"Jesus, Em, I think you should quit. I can support both of us."

"No, I am not doing that. I need the money."

"Look, I know you need the money, but we could find you a job elsewhere. Actually Teller-Morrow is hiring since you quit, maybe I should see if Jax can pull you a couple of strings."

"Jesus, stop. No I am staying at the strip club. It is good money, and I will be able to get the funds to open my studio." I say getting frustrated. Just thinking, this bath was to be relaxing not stressful.

"Fine, I will drop it for now," she says splashing water on me, "So I take it Jax found out about your job I bet he wasn't too happy."

_What the hell. _"Why should he care?"

"Well because he actually likes, scratch that loves you, and I don't think he will like the fact men get to see you in just a bra and G-string, and don't forget he popped your cherry," she smirks.

"Jesus, if you did not notice. I am not his property there is no crow tattoo on this body."

"Well maybe you should get out and date. Not everyone is like your stepfather and Jax."

"I just want to focus on getting my studio, I am 19 and don't need a man as a distraction," I say playing with the bubbles.

"So what are you going to do about Whistler?"

"Well I told him if he keeps harassing me I will tell Kev, and if that does not stop I will go to the station and file a report."

Snorting, "Like Kev will do shit. Well just be careful, the Nords aren't something to take likely especially with your connection to SAMCRO. But I will let you finish your bath. Oh I may be out when you wake up; I have a date with Happy since he is in town!"

"Okay, have fun and send Happy my love."

The next thing I know I am waking up to the sound of a door being pounded on.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jesus, I am coming," I yell from my room it is 11 o'clock in the morning who makes social calls this early. Stumbling out of my bed, and making sure I don't put too much pressure on my ankle I make my way to the door.

Opening it, "Oh it's you, did you have to pound so hard." I say stepping aside letting Jax in.

"Well good morning to you too, and I wouldn't have to knock so hard if you would of opened the door ten minutes ago." He says making his way past me to my couch. Well isn't he getting to goddamn comfortable.

"Look Jax, I appreciate you helping me out, but just because I am a stripper I am not a whore. If you think you are getting sexual favors for helping you better tell your dick another story," I say crossing my arms across my chest, and standing in front of him.

Putting his hands up as a sign of defeat, "I feel we should have this conversation when you aren't standing in front of me in lacy boy shorts, and a beater with no bra, and we both know the power you hold over my dick," he chuckles.

"I am stripper, I have no shame," I counter. His face falls. "Well as you can see I am fine, so you can leave now."

"Wow, is that any way to treat your guest?" he says.

"What you want to watch a movie? Maybe you will get lucky I will let you feel me up a little. Sorry, bud I actually have standards."

"What is wrong with me?"

"Why do you care, I am not interested. Wait why are we even having this conversation?"

Shrugging his shoulders, "You brought it up? I see Sabrina is at the clubhouse with Happy how come I never see you around anymore?"

"Are you sure? Or weren't you too busy swapping spit with those skanks?" I throw at him.

Looking me in the eye, "No I am sure I would have seen you. Nobody else has tan tone legs like those, and big beautiful blue eyes with black long wavy hair here." Shit why am I blushing.

"Well I don't know if I should take that as a compliment, but thanks."

"How is your ankle?"

"Umm fine, I will have to take a couple days off of work thanks to you, but I am still mobile. Do you want anything to drink?" I say making my way into the kitchen.

"No I am good. So I was talking to Sabrina and she said you were looking for a new job?" he says making his way over to the counter.

_That sneaky bitch. _"No, the strip club is good money, and it is not a lifelong career, I just need it for now," I say pouring my orange juice.

"Well if you want my mom needs help in the office so I think you should apply _again_," he says playing with some paper on the counter.

Turning around and leaning back against the counter, "Are you offering me a job, or a spot to fill your bed?"

Shaking his head, "Nah, just from this conversation I feel like I have a lot of work to do to even get to hold your hand again."

"I am not that much of a prude. I just don't work fast; you of all people should know that," I say refilling my glass of juice, "I am 19. I don't need or want a boyfriend."

"One date won't hurt besides I know your favorite place to take you," he says softly.

Is he being serious? "Did Sabrina put you up to this?"

"No," looking him in the eyes I can tell he isn't lying.

"Look I am sorry we can't just jump back into whatever that was a couple months ago. But I am pretty sure I remember you saying '_You're better off without me, and I shouldn't let you get involved'._" I say finishing my orange juice.

"Look Em, if I could take it back everything I said, I would but things were so fucked up a couple months ago."

"Look Jax, I know we weren't official and I wasn't your old lady, but it still hurts you couldn't trust me or believe in me."

Nodding his head, "Alright, so what are your plans for today?"

"I need to grocery shopping, why?"

"Well we go hang out as friends, right?"

"Friends don't go grocery shopping together. Only roommates or couples."

"Well you have a bad ankle." He says smirking.

"Fine, let me change I guess." Not wanting to argue this early in the morning.

* * *

"So did you buy that house you were talking about?" I ask Jax while looking at various fruits.

Shaking his head, "There isn't any point now."

"Why, it is better than staying at the clubhouse I thought it was so cute and adorable. We looked at furniture and everything for it," I say tossing some bananas and apples in the cart.

"It is cheaper, plus it would have only been me," he says tossing some of his own food selections in there. Finally taking a good look at Jax, I realize how wore out he looks. He looks far too tense for a 21 old year old.

"You think you are slick don't you?" I say giving him a knowing look.

"What, you like this stuff too." He says putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Well, well look at what we have here. Vanilla!" Turning around to the source, I realize it is Whistler. "Oh look, and your with SAMCRO's finest. I didn't take you for a biker whore, but you're a stripper so not that shocking."

Before I had time to react Jax has push Whistler against a stand by the collar of his shirt. "Ahh, look at you defending her, I am surprise you let her strip. Don't worry I will show her real soon what a real man can do," Whistler winks at me. Jax packs a blow to his face.

"Jax stop please." Realizing we are causing a scene, Jax lets go and grabs our cart and goes to the nearest register.

Making our way back to my truck, "How long has he been messing with you?" Jax asks.

"Just a couple weeks," I say looking at my hands.

"What does he do?" He says lightening a cigarette.

"Jax, it doesn't matter. I handled it last night."

"Obviously, you didn't what if I wasn't there?"

"Jesus, I am not helpless," I say glaring at him.

"You are done stripping."

"Excuse me. What the fuck did you just say?"

"You heard me," he says putting the truck in reverse and pulling out the parking lot.

"No, I think I misheard you, actually. I am not quitting stripping." I say glaring at him.

"If I would have known months ago this was your night job, you would have been out of there before you would have stepped a foot in the door. You better give your boss your notice now, or I will."

"The fuck I will. Where do you get off in being my boyfriend or dictator telling me what to do?"

"We are not discussing this in the car," he says.

"We are not discussing this when we get home either," I counter back.

* * *

"Why the fuck are you being so difficult about this?" Jax yells at me in the living room.

"I'm not. He is one customer. I can handle him," I say smiling sweetly at him.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING BACK" he growls at me.

"If you think this going to get me back in your good graces guess think again sweetheart," I say getting up heading to my bedroom and slamming the door.

Like expected he follows me in bedroom, and pins me against my bed. "Get off of me Jackson!" I say bucking my hips at him.

"No, you are going to listen to me and do as your told like my goddamn old lady, if I find out you go back there it won't be pretty," with that he kisses me roughly, and goes to leave. The nerve of that bastard, I swear. After lying in my bed for about 15 minutes wondering how I even got involved with this man, I give up and realize I will never know the answer. Going out back into the living room, I go into the kitchen and start making a steak salad for lunch. While waiting for the grease to get hot for my fries I realize the keys to my truck are missing. That asshole, and on queue the number one asshole comes into my apartment with clothes, and has the nerve to throw my keys on the counter in front of me.

"Excuse me, what do you think you are doing?"

"Obviously I am staying here," he says taking his clothes to my room.

"No you are not," I say following him to my room.

"Will you stop acting like a goddamn child? I don't know what you are getting bent out of shape over being a goddamn stripper."

"Jax, you can't come in here after two months and declare I am your old lady, and act like nothing happened!"

"Jesus, how many times do I need to apologize? I fucked up, I know. Can I at least get a second chance?"

"Jax, I can't do this. Nothing has changed, your still the Vice President of a motorcycle and partake in a lifestyle I may never understand. I mean I of course will support you in whatever, because I love you that fucking much. But your mom already told me that it won't ever work if we don't do full disclosure, but I don't know if I want to know Jax, I can love you, but I don't think I can love the club."

Walking up to me and cradling my face in his hands, "Babe, please, I miss you so fucking much. Forget the club and my mom. What I did was a complete asshole move for me to do. I fucking love you, and want you to be my old lady. Please Em."

Shit. Nodding my head, he pulls me into a kiss. "If you cheat on me, since we are official again, I will chop your dick off and stuff it down your throat. Then slash your motorcycle tires. That hasn't changed."

"I believe you babe." He chuckles, and tries to pull me back onto the bed.

"Jax, we can't I have grease on the oven and my steak is probably burning," I say pulling away.

"Yeah, the steak right here is burning," he says putting my hand on his burning member.

"After dinner, maybe," I say smirking at him.

"Maybe, we have two months to make up on. You won't be able to walk tomorrow," he replies letting me go.

* * *

Lying in bed, I am realizing I am severely overheated, and my bladder needs to be released. Trying to move I realize I can't because Jax has me pinned to him.

"Jax," I say under him, and begin wiggling, which I realized was a mistake as his favorite part of his anatomy has awaken.

"Darlin' if you keep moving, I am going to change your rhythm," he says mumbling in my ear.

"I need to pee, Jax."

Looking at me smirking, he releases me, as I get up am rewarded with a slap on the ass, and a reminder of our all nighter runs down my leg. When I finish my business, Jax is up leaning against the headboard, still naked, smoking a cigarette. Stubbing out his cigarette, he motions me over with his hands.

"If you think you are getting another round, you are sorely mistaken, plus Happy and Sabrina are here," I say to Jax from the doorway.

"Shit, babe, who cares. Did you hear them last night? Plus we'll just put a pillow over your mouth or stuff it with my tongue."

"Classy, Teller," I say crawling on the bed and go to straddle him.

"You are forgetting something," Jax says when I purposely don't let him fill me.

"No, I'm not," I tease, and start sucking his neck, and take my hand behind my back to stroke him.

"Fuck babe, don't stop," he says sneaking his hand between us. Increasing both of our paces, Jax removes his hand, lifts me up and fills me to the core with us both moaning from the filling. Jax than takes control of the pace, and we both come at the same time, "Shit babe, okay I am fully tapped out for the next 6 hours," he says while trying to catch his breath. "But we still need to talk."

"About what?" I say.

"You and this strip club."

"Really you want to start this morning with an argument?" Removing myself from his lap and wrapping my sheet around me.

"No, I do not want you working there. You could do other things. You really don't have to work at all to be honest."

"You know for you to even suggest for me to live off of you and depend on you is slightly insulting. It honestly isn't that big of deal, it is only a temporary job."

"To me it is a big deal, no one else should see you the way I see you. If you need money to open your studio, I will lend it to you with no connection to the club," Jax says lighting his cigarette.

This is the issue, mister big jealous is coming out, but damn I wish he wasn't right, "I will think about it."

"There isn't anything to think about. You are not going back there, and you either are taking my money, or loans from the bank pick your choice."

"Fine, I will give Kev my notice, but I will think about your other offer," saying defeated.

Smiling, "Thanks baby, you know I am starving," wiggling his eyebrow.

"Jesus Christ, Jax, I don't think I can handle anymore," I say trying to get away from him, but he soon has me pinned underneath him.

"Don't worry just lie back and enjoy," he says in between kissing a trail and lightly sucking down my neck.

* * *

_Later in the afternoon_

Why is Hale calling me? "Hello, Emma speaking."

"Hey, Emma, it's David, We have Jax down at the station for assault. I thought I would call you and let you know."

What the fuck did he do?! "Is he being charged? And who did he assault?"

"Whistler," Jesus Christ! I am going to kick his ass, "and yeah we have to charge him."

"Can I see him?"

"Yeah, of course. I will be down here to let you in."

"Okay, I will be there in 10."

Making my way into the station, I am greeted by Hale before I can take a step into the building. Jesus, one kiss I gave him, and he is whipped like a puppy.

"So can you tell me anything?" I ask David once we make our way closer to the holding cells.

"I could get in trouble for this."

"God, just tell me."

"He went into the Hairy Dog, and confronted Whistler about god knows what. From what I could gather was what set Jax off was an off comment remark about you, because what else would cause him to crush the man's balls with a pool stick."

"Jesus Christ," I mutter.

"Hale, I told you not to call her," I hear Jax say from his cell.

"David, can you excuse us for a second?"

"Hale could you go, I don't need you seeing her ripping me a new asshole," Jax mutters under his breath.

"10 minutes that's it," David says walking away giving us privacy.

"Jesus Christ, Jackson, you impaired the man. A pool stick really!"I say when the coast is clear.

"He fucking deserved it. Nobody messes with what's mine."

"I told you I could handle it!"

"Well I speeded up the process, and got the message across perfectly clear."

"Now it results in you sitting in a jail cell," I say putting my hands on my hips, "if you get bail I am not getting you out."

"Really, babe, that's harsh," he says smirking.

"Jackson, I don't think anything about this situation is amusing," I glare at him.

"You know you are extremely fucking hot when your pissed." Is he serious?

"Well it looks like Hanna will be your only pleasure for the weekend." I fire back.

"Jax, it looks like your free to go," Hale comes back in obviously irritated Jax is getting off clean.

"What happened?"

"Whistler recanted the statement to a miss understanding," Hale says not believing it for a second.

Jax coming up and wrapping his arm around my shoulders bringing me, marking his territory I might add, "Now I know I could count on the justice system," he says mockingly to Hale.

Making our way outside, "I do not find this situation amusing Jackson Teller."

"Babe, really?"

"Yes, Jax, really. You can't be doing this. I don't care about what you did to Whistler he was a creep and deserved it, but I can't handle the thought of you in jail, Jax."

Engulfing me in a hug, "Em, don't worry about that, you know no matter what I will always make sure I am home at night."

"Jax, you can't obviously say that. I know the risks every day you take." I say into his chest.

"Well I was thinking, you could get my crow," Jax says quickly.

"We just got back together less than 24 hours."

"Is that a no?"

"No, but it's not a yes either, how about a month we can revisit this?"

"I guess," he says giving me a peck on the lips, "but when you get it I want it on your hip."

"Have you already planned this out?"

"Duh," he laughs.

Pulling back from him, "Will I see you tonight?"

"Of course, babe, where else would I be?"

Shrugging my shoulders, Jax pulls me back to him, "Babe, now that I have you again, I am not letting you go. I will see you tonight, I am pretty sure me giving shiska balls to Whistler made it to the club and my mom especially might not be happy,"

"Alright, I love you."

"Love you too, see you tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

**This just a filler, since I realized when I was writing other chapters I didn't put how the official end of Emma's strip career ended happened. Hope you enjoy!**

**Thanks for all the favorites and follows.**

**-Tori**

* * *

"Em, are you sure you should be doing this?" Sabrina asks in our personal dressing room at Bruno's.

"It is only for the last time since I am going into "retirement". You should have seen Kev's face when I told him I wasn't going to be stripping anymore," putting the finishing touches on my makeup I notice Sabrina's nervousness, turning around in my chair, "you didn't mention anything to Happy or Jax did you?"

"Of course not, but I mean some of the clubs hang arounds may notice you or know about "Vanilla's" retirement. Let's be honest, you are half of the clubs revenue, word will get around pretty fast with these bitches."

"Look I planned this perfectly, Jax _and Happy_ are in Bakersfield right?" nodding her head, "if word gets out about my little dance, it will be over in plenty of time before someone can finish the sentence. Besides if Jax gets pissed he will be denying himself sex." I say getting up and twirling around in my outfit.

"Or you will get a sore cooch," mutters Sabrina, "Don't you feel slightly bad about lying to Jax?"

"I am not lying, I said I will give Kev my notice, he said nothing about dancing in between the end of the notice. Trust me it will be fine, nothing a blowjob, and some porn star moves can't fix." I say making my way to the stage after I hear my introduction for the last time.

Making my way onto stage I made a special playlist for my last performance, for my first song I pick to dance to _Beyoncé's Partition_. In the beginning of my dance everyone is receptive and throwing major cash, for the end of the performance I decide to replicate the end of the dance from the video, which gives me another wave of cash. For my second song I decided to dance to _Britney Spears' Get Naked (I got a Plan). _Mid-way there the song I realize the crowd has gotten still, and I see a broad figure rushing its way towards the stage, and before my brain can comprehend what is happening I am being tossed over his shoulder, _Shit it's Jax. _Sensing me about to freak-out he tells me to not even open my fucking mouth, and when Kev tries to intercede he is met with a very pissed off Jax. Where the hell is Sabrina at, she is never here when I need her. Fuck, he didn't even let me grab the cash I rightfully earned. Shocked that he has his truck, he practically throws me in the passenger seat and throws his hoodie at me, and slams the door. I am surprised he didn't break the window, getting in the driver's side he lights a cigarette and high tails it out of there. Nostrils flared, chain-smoking, and speeding, I decided it is best to keep my mouth shut. I don't even say anything when he heads towards the clubhouse instead of the apartment.

Parking the truck in the lot, he finishes his cigarette before getting out makes his way to my side and opens the door. Me making no indication of moving, he gets even more pissed, rubs his hands over his face and tosses me over his shoulder _again. _

"Jax! Let me down. I don't care that you're pissed but you have no right treating me like this," I say slapping his back. Too make it even worse he sulks and carries me through the clubhouse in front of the club members, old ladies, crow-eaters, and hangarounds who are all staring. He stops and only acknowledges Happy and tells him Sabrina is there too, which Happy promptly leaves after that. No wonder she was nervous, Happy must have given her the same predicament. Making his way into his dorm, he throws me on the bed, and starts removing his many layers of shirts and smokes a cigarette pacing the room. A blowjob isn't going to fix this.

Now standing in front of me shirtless, which I might add, "You want to enlighten me what I walked in out at Bruno's?" Sensing me going to give a smart-ass remark, "I don't think it would be wise to test me darling."

Shit, I did not see this happening. He was supposed to be in Bakersfield for another two days, and it is really hard to be mad at him when he is naked from the waist up. So my plan of attack distract, like the little angel I am, I start to shimmy out his hoodie slowly where I may have let a view peaks here and there of my lady bits.

"What are you doing?" he asks with some lust traced in his voice.

"Getting comfortable since you are obviously are going to scold me like I am child, than your girlfriend, scratch that old lady," I say tossing his hoodie on the floor, and leaning back on my forearms, and taking my heels off with my feet.

Not saying anything for a few seconds, which felt like minutes, he comes up closer to the bed climbing up hovering me, "You know I didn't plan it to go down like this?"

"Like what?" I whisper.

"When I found out about your little stunt, I planned on having the war of all arguments, you stomping around all pissed, give you some rules, put you on lockdown so to speak, get you a little hot, leave the apartment come here, leave your mind to wonder," he smirks as I glare at him, "I would only ruffle your feathers a little, than have some amazing angry/make-up sex." Bringing up his hand and tracing a path from my face down to my panty's, "but now I think I will skip on that to sex," before I can respond he attacks me with his lips. Sabrina was right, my cooch would be sore, I am pretty sure everyone heard us from the clubhouse all the way to Bruno's as I strained my vocals, and couldn't walk right a few days after.


	4. Chapter 4

_A year and a half later._

It has been a little bit over a year and a half since Jax and I officially got back together again. So far it seems to be going perfect. Gemma has slowly accepted me, and I in return have come to terms with the club fully. I realize as long as I love Jax, I can accept the life of the club, but of course I have certain standards for Jax. Happy and Sabrina have somewhat become more official, as soon after I moved out and in the house Jax bought, Happy moved in officially with Sabrina, and made her quit stripping also. Caving in to Jax, I accepted his "loan" to me and opened my fitness/dance studio, which is a hit with the Charming residents especially the elderly ladies. I have a 24/7 open gym on the first floor, and the upper floor is my dance studio where I offer workouts like yoga and Pilates, but also hop-hop dance class, ballet, and even pole dancing classes. Sabrina and I only run that floor, on the downstairs level Donna is the secretary, and I hire a few high school students to earn job experience. Practicing a few spins I suddenly become very dizzy, and have to stop.

"Hey you alright?" Sabrina asks.

"I just have been getting dizzy a lot, and my stomach is always queasy," I say taking a small sip of water.

"Are you sick," Sabrina goes and feels my forehead.

"No, I think it was that Chinese I ate a week ago," I say but realized I have been dealing with this longer than that. _Oh shit, oh shit._

Jumping up," Oh my god Em, what is it?" Sabrina says worried.

* * *

Pacing back and forth in the doctor's office, "Em, will you calm down. It isn't the end of the world," Sabrina says from her chair.

"I can't be pregnant, I am on the shot! I am only 21 for god sakes, and so not ready for a baby."

_knock,knock_

"Hi, I'm Tara, I am the nurse for today, it says you are here for a pregnancy test for Emma Williams, is that correct?"

"Tara Knowles?" Sabrina asks looking surprised.

Looking up from her chart, "Oh Sabrina, Hi, how have you been?" Tara asks with fake concern.

Sabrina catching onto the fakeness, "I'm fine, I thought you were on your good way to becoming a doctor in Chicago?"

"I was, and am. I just had some unexpected events and nursing was the quickest option for now," she replies tersely.

"And you couldn't have been a nurse in Chicago?" Sabrina fires back.

Ignoring Sabrina's question, "I take it your Emma, if you just pee in this cup we could have the results for you. Did you already take a pregnancy test?"

"Um, no I thought it would give me a piece of mind to just come to the doctors," I say grabbing the cup.

"Alright, I will give you a minute than. The bathroom is right through there."

"Are you two going to be alright?" I get a nod from both of them as a response. Making my way to the bathroom, I handle my business, and step out to find that none of them have moved from their positions. Handing Tara the cup she tells me the results should be back in five to ten minutes, leaving me and Sabrina in the room.

"Is there something I should know about?" I ask Sabrina

"Unfuckingbelievable," she mutters under her breath, "Jax never mentioned a Tara to you?"

Thinking about he mentioned an ex-girlfriend moving away for college, but never a name.

From my silence, "I take that as a no, she fucking broke Jax's heart, and she probably thinks she will get back in his good graces wait till she finds out who you're pregnant by."

Not knowing how to feel about the situation, I am totally confused. I could handle the fact he has been with croweaters before me, but this is a totally different ballgame. An ex-girlfriend, who broke _his_ heart.

"Em, don't even think about it. Jax loves you to death. He will be incredibly stupid to fall for her damsel in distress act again."

On queue Tara comes back in with the results, "I have the results. Emma it looks like you're pregnant. Congratulations," she says smiling at me.

Oh my god, I'm pregnant. This can't be happening. Should I be happy?

"From the look on your face, I can tell this was a surprise?" Tara says.

"Yeah, I mean I am on the shot?"

"Sometimes, the shot can fail, and as with any contraceptive it is not 100% effective. We can do an ultrasound to see how far along you are?"

"Okay." I nod my head.

"Well let's take you up them."

"Hey, Em, it is going to be alright. You will be a great mother," Sabrina says soothingly while making our way to the ultrasound room.

"Okay just lie on your back and lift up your shirt. The gel will be a little cold," Tara says preparing the machine.

Lying back and lifting up my shirt, Tara puts the device up to my stomach and we begin hearing a wooshing sound. "There is your baby; he or she looks about 8-9 weeks."

Looking at the monitor tears come to my eyes, "Look Sabrina, there is a baby inside of me," we both start laughing.

"Can she have a picture?" Sabrina asks.

"Of course," Tara says and goes to print multiple copies.

Cleaning off my stomach, "Emma, I am going to get the doctor so he can go over the important stuff like prenatal vitamins, and all that," Tara says and leaves the room.

"So when are you going to tell Jax?" Sabrina asks as soon as Tara leaves.

"When he comes back from his run in Tacoma later this week, do you think he will be upset. I mean we are both so young?" I say worried.

"No, he will be happy, and wait when Gemma finds out she is going to be so happy," she says smiling.

"Hi, I am Dr. Namid. I hear congratulations are in order."

"Yes, thank you."

"Okay, well first we are going to prescribe you prenatal vitamins that I would like you to take immediately. Now the only concern I have is in your chart you seem to have a family history of high blood pressure, and you occasionally will get some scares?"

"Will that affect the baby," I say concern.

"It shouldn't, we should be able to manage it. Just try not to get too stressed out, and you are a petite thing so that can put some strain on your body. I want to see you back in a couple of weeks though."

"Okay, when will I be able to find out the sex of the baby?"

"Usually we tell around 16-18 weeks, so you still have a little over a month to go, but if you have any questions at all please don't hesitate to call me, or Tara can also help you will any questions you might have," handing over the prescription pad, "we'll see you in a couple weeks, have a good day ladies."

* * *

It has been a few days since, I found out that I was pregnant, and the more I think about the more excited I am about becoming a mother. Jax is coming home tomorrow from his run, and I can't wait to tell him the good news, it was hard not telling him over the phone. Looking out the window from my kitchen, I see a woman with blonde hair keeps looking at my house, and is scared. Confused I make my way to the door and open it.

"Can I help you?" I ask from my steps.

Jumping back at the sound of my voice, I take a good look at this girl, and she is high out of her mind. After she doesn't answer I repeat my question.

"Is Jax here?" she asks quietly. What would she want with Jax?

"No, he won't be back till tomorrow. Can I ask why you need to see him?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?" Is she going to give me anything?

"Do you mind if I come in?" she asks.

"I don't even know you." She is taken back by my response.

"I'm Wendy; I feel it is better if we take this inside. You must be Emma, I feel you have a right to know."

"A right to know what?" she is really pissing me off with this vague shit.

Sighing, "I think I might be pregnant."

"Okay, what does that have to do with Jax?" I ask too soon, than it hit me like a ton of bricks before she can answer, "When?"

"About a month ago, when he was in Nevada." That son of a bitch.

"Well did you take a test? Are you sure you are even pregnant?" Shaking her head, "Fine I will take you to the doctors so you can know for sure. You wouldn't want to give Jax false information."

I grab my keys and usher her into my car, I can't believe this. Jax cheats on me, and then gets her pregnant. Making my way to the lobby, "Hi, this woman needs a pregnancy test." And maybe a rehab center, "What's your name?" I ask her.

"Wendy Case." She says nervously.

After about five minutes we are called back into the room, and Tara walks in.

"Oh Emma, is something wrong with the baby?" Shaking my head, I realize Wendy has gone pale, and starts shaking and crying. Ugh, I hate emotional bitches, and she doesn't have the right to be crying I am the one that was cheated on.

"Are you okay, Miss Case?" Tara asks her confused about the situation.

"She is fine. She needs a pregnancy test," as I say this Wendy starts wailing.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. I am going to ruin your family. I can't believe this. I shouldn't have done it. We all know he has an old lady. But we all wanted him. Oh my god, Jax is going to hate me so much," Wendy says in between cries.

"Jackson Teller is your baby's father?" Tara asks.

"Sadly, can we just give her the pregnancy test, I need to start looking for a new place to live." Taking that as the queue to drop the conversation, Wendy takes the test and now all we have to do is wait.

"Oh my god, Emma, I am so sorry."

"Wendy this is all on Jax, You know if you're pregnant you are going to have to stop the drug use," I say sternly.

Before she can reply Tara comes back in, "Okay I have the results. Wendy you are not pregnant."

"Oh thank god," Wendy exhales, but it is already too late, she ruined the perfect bliss I was living in.

* * *

Making my way back to my house, Wendy cannot stop talking about her so called remorse. Ignoring her, I think about if I should burn down the house, or trash his bike. I am too angry to even be sad. Coming down the street, I realize a bike is parked in the driveway. What incredible timing does he have.

Pulling in the driveway, I sense Wendy's nervousness as she sees Jax's bike. "What you don't want to tell him the good news?" I say mockingly.

Getting out of the car, I make my way over to the door and realize Wendy has not moved from her seat. Going to make my way to her, the front door swings open revealing Jax. Rolling my eyes, Jax looks confused, but as soon as I reveal Wendy, he balks.

Making his way down the steps, and grabbing Wendy out of the car, "What the fuck are you doing here?!" Not even wanting to listen to this conversation, I make my way into the house back into the bedroom and start packing my clothes. I am so pissed I start crying, damn these pregnancy hormones already. I am brought out of my crying fit when Jax tries to touch me.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I back away from.

"Babe, I am so sorry, I was completely-"

"Don't, I don't even fucking care. I don't care if you were too fucked up, I don't give a flying fuck. YOU still cheated, and with a fucking drugged out whore no less."

"Babe, it was only this one time," he says trying to make his way to me.

"What is that supposed to make me feel better, fuck you, do I get a free pass. She could have been fucking pregnant Jax! Did you expect me to sit here, and be okay with that?" I say putting more clothes in my bag.

"Babe, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I am doing; I am fucking leaving and never looking or coming back."

Going to grab me, I turn and slap Jax in the face, and start punching him in the chest, which he all takes. "I fucking love you Jax, and look what you fucking did. I was so stupid," After calming down I turn around and zip my bag, "I am going to stay at Sabrina's; I am going to try and find a new place so I can move my stuff out of here."

"Em, you don't need to do that. I can stay at the clubhouse, we can-"

"No we can't work this out. You broke it Jax, I will call you in a few days, and then we can discuss the house, but until then please don't contact me." Putting the strap of the bag on my shoulder, I walk over to the dresser where I have the pregnancy test results with the sonogram pictures, "I found out that I'm pregnant. I am about 9 weeks."

Looking at Jax, I realize tears are running down his face, "Baby please don't go, please just don't" shaking my head I go to leave, and hear Jax say, " I love you Em," and start crying and throwing stuff around the room.

* * *

**Hey guys, now the story is going to follow along to the plot of season 1. The following chapters will be my take on each episodes. **

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks for everyone who followed and favorited.**

**-Tori.**


	5. Chapter 5

_5 Months Later_

Ughh, pregnancy is a bitch. My little bundle of joy Abel, yes I am having a boy like one Jax Teller is enough in this world, has no problem dancing around in the space I provide for him. Getting up to use the bathroom, I realize how lonely it is staying in this house all by myself. After the Wendy issue, I decided to stay in the house at Jax's request since I am pregnant, while he stays at the clubhouse , only agreeing after one of the many fights we had during my pregnancy and you would think I wouldn't be stressed being single, but nope the stress has gotten worse. Even though Jax tried his hardest to fix the predicament he put us in, I decided it was best to end the relationship, much to Gemma's dismay _and the club_. But I ensured Jax _and Gemma_ I wasn't go to be bitter, and I expected him to be involved in our child's life, and wasn't going to let him off the hook of fatherly duties. Though he did try to take advantage of my pregnancy hormones a few times, I limit our contact to only talking about anything Abel related. A few times I wonder if I should forgive him, and let him back, because in some sick and twisted way I still love him.

Since I became pregnant, I actually added a pregnancy class at the studio, who knew there were so many pregnant women in Charming. Walking down the hall, I look into the spare bedroom and wonder if I should convert it to a bedroom for Jax to use when he is here. Going in to see what I stashed in here, I find a photobook I started making us when Jax and I first got together. Going through the pictures, I find that tears are in my eyes, god I need to get over him. Putting the photobook away, I make my way to the kitchen, but stumble a little when a searing pain shoots through my stomach. Looking down, I see a puddle of blood underneath and running down my leg. Oh My God. At this exact moment, I hear Gemma calling my name through the door.

"Gemma!" I scream, and tears are rushing down my face. Hearing the locks click, thank god I gave her an extra key.

"Oh my god, Emma," whipping out her phone she starts dialing 911 and telling them the situation.

"Gemma it's too soon, ahhhh," I scream when a pain shoots through me.

"It will be okay baby, shhh, just breathe," she tries and calms me; I realize tears are coming down her face too.

"Gemma if anything happens, save the baby first," I say in between the whimpering.

"Emma don't say shit like that, you and the baby are going to make it," just than the ambulance comes in and makes their way in.

"She is 7 months, 21 years old Emma Williams," Gemma rattles off to the EMT.

"The baby's father I suggest you contact him. There is a lot of blood they will probably do an emergency C-section," I hear the EMT say.

"Em, I am going to try and get ahold of Jax, okay."

Nodding my head, I close my eyes praying my baby was alright.

* * *

"How is she?" I hear a male voice ask faintly.

"She lost a lot of blood, but her vitals look good. She needed a blood transfusion. She will be weak for a few days. But in all she will be fine," I hear a female voice respond.

"The baby?" after a few seconds of silence, "Just tell me."

"He's got a congenital heart defect and gastroschis a tear in his abdomen. The gastro is from the early birth, but the CHD is probably-"

"The family flaw" a female voice interrupts.

"Either one would be serious, but not life-threatening. However, the two of them together Dr. Namid gives him a 20 percent chance, and I'm afraid that's being optimistic."

"Oh my god."

"She has a history of high blood pressure during the pregnancy and stress, so this could be a result of Preeclampsia, also."

"Jax," I croak which silence everyone.

Rushing over to me, and planting kisses on my forehead, "Oh my god, you scared the living shit out of me," Jax says.

"The baby, will he make it?" Not giving me an answer, he asks Tara and Gemma to leave. Scared I think everything I heard was a dream.

"Em, I don't think he is going to make it." He says bluntly.

"What, I just heard he had a 20% chance," I say giving him a confused look.

"He was born with half a stomach and a hole in his heart. He's gonna die."

"You are a fucking asshole. Don't you dare say that. We are the only ones he got. You might as well go kill him yourself. I can't believe you. Do you think that about me when I was bleeding out on the operation table?"

"Em, I am being realistic here. How long are we going to be parents a week, a day, an hour?"

"We've been parents for the 7 months I was pregnant, and we are parents now. I can't believe you sometimes. Just leave Jax, don't even waste your time being here."

"Em-"

"Jax just go!" I yell causing the machines hooked up to me to go crazy with activity.

"Jax, I think you should leave. The stress isn't going to be good for her. You can come back later. I will make sure you have access to the room if you come back," Tara says walking in the room checking my monitors.

Before leaving Jax walks over and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

After a couple minutes of silence, "He loves you ya know. Jax, I never seen him so scared before."

"Well he has a funny way of showing it." I huff out.

"He is just scared. He could have lost either you or the baby or both."

"His name is Abel. Is there any good news?" Like I want to be discussing my relationship with Jax to an ex-girlfriend.

"We'll Dr. Namid is going to go through with the surgery tomorrow night hopefully, and Sabrina is outside waiting for you."

"Okay, when can I visit Abel?"

"Maybe in a few days, we don't want to pop your stitches."

"Okay let Sabrina in."

"Oh Em," Sabrina comes rushing in crying and hugging me, "I was so fucking scared for you and Abel."

"It's alright S, I am fine." I say to my best friend.

"How are you feeling with everything? Jax was about to lose him mind thinking he was going to lose you."

"Don't mention him," I bark at her.

"Em, come on it's been five months. At least give him another chance. You guys have a son now."

"Yeah, some father he is going to be. He just told me our baby won't even make it. He is a major asshole."

"Emma he is just scared, I know you are too."

"Sabrina, I'm tired. I just want to sleep. Can you come back tomorrow?"

"Of course, Em," Sabrina gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves.

* * *

_The following night._

"Looks like Abel is going to make it through his first birthday," Gemma announces when she walks through the door and gives me a hug.

"Really, thank the lord!" I say returning her hug. Despite our differences, Gemma and I have gotten really close throughout my pregnancy.

"Tara just told me they went ahead with the heart surgery, they are operating now" she says giving me a look.

"What is it?"

"How do you feel about Tara being here, assisting on Abel?"

"Gem, if Jax wants to hit up on that again so be it. I have no control over him. I am not his old lady."

"Emma you will always be his old lady. Just give him another chance. Be a real family with Abel. You know he doesn't mess around with the croweaters." Gemma tries to plead her case to me.

"Jax is on my shit list right now, anyways. I just want to focus on Abel. This is a topic for another day."

"I told Jax he needs to see him, Abel; I had to slap some sense into last night. He is just scared Em. Being a father is different than being a mother. He needs you. One day I can see you taking my place, and my son will be President."

**_Knock Knock_**

Jax comes through the door smiling with some white roses, and Gemma takes that as her queue to leave.

Coming over to the side of my bed, "What is it?"

"Abel made it. Our son made it!" He says pulling me into a hug, and goes to give me a kiss, but I pull back when I see blood on my hospital gown.

Realizing he is the source, "Go clean yourself up Jax," I pull back and watch him leave.


	6. Chapter 6

"All his vitals are up," Dr. Namid and Tara tell Jax and me the following morning.

"Is there going to be any permanent damage from the premature birth, the brain or anything?" Jax asks before I get the chance to.

"Can't know for sure, but everything so far points to full recovery, but he will be in NICU for about two to three months" Dr. Namid reassures us.

"When will I be able to see him?" I ask craving the need to actual hold and see my son.

"In a couple of day's top, if everything is all good tomorrow you can see him with the assistance of a wheelchair, I assure you." Tara says before Dr. Namid.

"Well I will leave you two alone, if you guys have any questions please do not hesitate to ask me or Tara," Dr. Namid and Tara both exit the room.

Not saying anything for a second, "Em, I am sorry about last night, and-"

"Jax, I really don't want to know. It doesn't concern me anymore," I say softly already knowing that he took a life, while our son's was hanging on a thread.

Coming over and taking my hands into his, "I am sorry about what I said about Abel, babe. I really should have been more optimistic especially with you finally waking up I just-"

"Jax, it is okay, you were scared," I say trying to make him feel better, "I really understand. You are here now. It is just a really rough time for us." Jax starts smiling. "What?" Confused on what happened.

"Nothing, it's just what you said _us_," Jax says smiling at me.

"Jackson, can we not talk about this," I say not wanting to have this conversation. He is already taking advantage of my post-pregnancy hormones.

Hovering over me, "Emma, what do I have to do," he whispers, "Please, all I want is you."

"Jax…" he leans in to capture my lips. We are than interrupted by the buzzing of his phone.

Checking his phone disappointed, "I gotta go Em."

Nodding my head, he kisses me on the cheek giving me a smile. When he leaves I wonder if this is going to be my life. Taking care of his son, while he always has to up and leave to deal with the club. Wondering if I will have to bury him in an early grave, or only get to visit him on weekends in a jail cell.

Sighing and laying back into my uncomfortable hospital bed, I can't wait to finally leave St. Thomas. Even though I do a lot of volunteering or offer classes for some type of physical therapy, the people here especially the females and Margret Murphy are bitches. The females either think they are better than me, or undercover croweaters who know they don't have a chance with Jax. Margret, who needs a better haircut and dye job, just looks down upon me, and even though she doesn't outright say it hints that I am throwing away my life for "love". Than before and during when I was pregnant, I had to deal with the male staff flirting, some of them made the mistake of flirting when Jax was in the facility accompanying me for a doctor visit, or if I was at the studio and some of them happened to drop by, or needed me to show them something. The worst scenario was during my pregnancy, Jax happened to be at the house doing his daily check-up when this guy named Matthew stopped by with some flowers and chocolates congratulating me on the pregnancy, now it was creepy I will admit but in a way sweet and it was a bonus to show Jax what he did and now is missing. While he was congratulating me and working up the nerve to ask me out, Jax must of gotten curious came up behind me, which made Matthew turn white as a ghost, opened the door wider takes the flowers and chocolates from me and throws them in Matthew's face and so eloquently tells him to don't ever come back or even look at me. That was when jealous Jax came back and wanted to know where he lived, are there other guys doing this, and I better not be fucking around while I am pregnant with his baby, and actually spit out that my pussy was his. Now that last comment started an epic fight.

"Hey honey how you feeling?" Gemma asks me interrupting my thoughts, and bringing me another set of flowers.

"It's starting to look like a flower shop in here," I say chuckling looking at the all the roses, tulips, carnations, and some teddy bears with balloons.

"Yeah, well we need some beauty after all this. I saw the good nurse before I came in here. Said Abel is on too full recovery." She makes her way over to a chair.

"Yeah, I am so relieved. I just can't wait to hold him. I need to finish the nursery though," I say thinking about how we still need certain things for the room.

"Don't worry about that, Jax was in storage getting some stuff. So have you and Jax decided what you are going to do? He can't raise a baby in the clubhouse." She thinks she is so clever.

"I was thinking about turning the spare room to a bedroom for him to use. I feel bad for staying in his house. So I have been looking at other places to live."

"Honey, why are you fighting the inevitable? I understand you were hurt, it happens to all of us. Jax learned from it. He is a better man with you, not without you."

"Gemma, I told him cheating is a deal breaker. It is not my fault he fucked up."

"You love him?" Gemma asks me blatantly.

"It's not a simple answer. As the father of my baby yes, than I think, no _I know I love him_, but then I think about how I felt when Wendy showed up and could have been pregnant with his baby. Would he have told me or would he have been acting like nothing happen like he did for that whole month when he came back. It hurts to fucking much," I say and start to cry, shit doesn't these pregnancy hormones go away.

"Shh, baby, it's alright. That's your pride. Just set up some harsher rules for him. I want my grandbaby to have a real family with his mommy and daddy together," She says making her way over to me rubbing my back.

Shaking my head, "No, honestly Gemma, I really just want to focus on being a mom to Abel. Maybe once everything is settled with Abel, Jax and I can rethink this relationship, but right now can we need to just focus on Abel," I say wiping my eyes with the tissues Gemma hands me.

"Damn, why do you need to be so smart, Jax really screwed up didn't he? But I can take your answer for now," Gemma says giving up the fight in her.

"Besides admit, you can't stand the thought of him and Tara?" I say quirking an eyebrow at her.

"Can you? She always tried to pull him away from the life. You embraced the life. She is too whiny and needy. She left him once, what's stopping her again?"

"Gemma, that is their business though. Maybe she makes him happy?"

"What are you team Tara now?" She has the nerve to actually light a cigarette.

"I have no claim on Jax anymore. We're not together; he can do as he pleases," I say nonchalantly.

"Well I am his mother, he should be worrying about getting back into your good graces than playing around with Tara," Now that has got my interest.

"Have they done anything?"

"Well look who is interested now?" Shit, I played right into her game.

"No, you want me interested. You seem to want to talk about her so…."

"Alright, alright you got me. They just seem to be a little too close for my liking. The little contact, body language, well her body language." I think she is paranoid.

"They were each other's first love what do you expect Gemma," I say.

"You seem a little too relaxed about this. He is your old man, you are basically pushing him into Tara's bony arms," she says agitated.

"Gemma, how many times do I need to say this? Jax and I are no longer together. I am not his old lady nor is he my old man. I am not waiting for Jax, and I don't expect him to wait for me either."

"Are you sure about that, I am pretty sure I recall you still have his crow on your hip." She says pointing her figure at my left indicting where I got his crow.

"It's null and void now," I reply back.

Ignoring my answer, "Well I am done being all charitable. We're having a family dinner tonight, I will bring you a plate of food because the food here is shit," we both laugh.

"Okay, send everyone my love."

"Okay, sweetheart, get some rest. You look like shit." There is the Gemma I know and love.

* * *

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites guys!**

**I was wondering if I should do some one-shots for Almost is Never Enough of scenes during Emma's pregnancy like the scene with Matthew and maybe some other stuff if you guys would like. Though the one-shots would be published after this story is complete as if there are other scenes you guys would like more on throughout the story I may hint at, and would be posted while I am working on Season 2 of this saga. **


	7. Chapter 7

"So today is the Fun Town carnival, I am going to try and win you and Abel some things," Jax says while playing with the edge of my gown, and has the nerve to blush probably thinking about what we did last year at the carnival.

"Well aren't you precious," I say teasingly lightly stroking his hand.

"Only for you darlin'," giving me his classic panty dropping smile.

"Jax, I want us to be a family for Abel, but I just need time. I feel that it is wrong of me to keep doing this to you, but with Abel's early birth, Jax it is just not us anymore. I need to think about what is best for our son," I say all too fast and out of nowhere, "I am sorry Jax, I didn't mean to blurt all this out," I say embarrassed.

Completely unfazed, "You know you are extremely adorable when you're embarrassed," he says smirking at me.

"Shut up," I go and cover my face.

Removing my hands out of my face, he leans down, before meeting my lips he silently asks permission. Do I really want to cross this line after 7 months? Fuck it, pressing my lips against his, as the kiss gets deeper, I think about how much I missed this. The feel and taste of his lips, I moan and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue. Realizing we are getting too heated, and anyone can walk in, "Jax we should stop," and he goes down and starts kissing my neck, "Jax," I try to say with conviction, but it comes out like a moan.

"Okay, I think I did my job," he says backing up, smug asshole, "I will be back later, hopefully with some gifts for my favorite lady," giving me one final kiss, "bye babe," Giving me a wink before he walks out the door.

Shit now I am horny and wet, so much for taking it slow.

* * *

"How are you feeling, Emma?" Tara asks me while checking my blood pressure.

"I'm good. How is Abel doing?"

"He is a tuff little guy. Must be the Teller blood in him," she says smiling at me.

"Yeah, just like his daddy."

"So are you and Jax together, if you don't mind me asking?"

Thinking about whether I should answer her or not, "We decided when Abel gets out of NICU we will try for the sake of Abel, but now we are just taking it slow."

"I am happy for you. Abel deserves this. Plus Jax really loves you I can tell," Tara says smiling at me.

"I don't know how I feel about this. I mean you are his ex-girlfriend. I mean not to be rude, or anything."

"Oh no, I understand where you are coming from. Just don't let Gemma get in your head. She likes to twist things. I am not a home wrecker, I actually am engaged," she says showing the huge ring/rock I have been completely oblivious too, "Now I know I may be out of line, but aren't you concerned about the life with Abel now?"

Engaged? Where is her fiancé? "Of course, I am. But that is not going to keep me from preventing Jax to see his flesh and blood. Tara, Jax isn't the club. I know I am safe with Jax, and I trust him in making sure Abel and I will be safe that is all that matters. If the situation changes, I will have no problem with removing Abel and I from Charming."

"I understand, sorry I shouldn't have crossed this line. It was inappropriate and unprofessional."

"You still love him?"

"Excuse me?" She takes a step back.

"You heard me."

"There is a part of me that will always love him if that is what you want me to know, but I moved on our love was just the stereotypical teenage stuff."

"So where is this fiancé?" Putting the spotlight on her.

Seeing the smile on her face before she answers I can tell she loves this guy, "He is in Portland he is finding us a house near our school."

"Then why aren't you there with him for school?"

"I needed to come and handle my dad's estate, so it is taking longer than I planned so that is why I am here temporarily, so when I go back up I am going to continue my classes to become a doctor before you ask I did a two year nursing program while also juggling pre-med courses."

"Well that's great, what is he in school for?"

"He is becoming a veterinarian," she says proudly.

"Wow, you guys are going to be living the luxurious life; his name?"

"Jonathon, look I didn't mean to give you any false impressions."

Cutting her off, "Its fine, I just expect an invite to the wedding." Nodding her head, we go on to discuss various wedding details she has been thinking of.

"Do you want to get married?" she asks softly.

"I mean eventually, yeah of course. Hopefully to Jax in the future, it would have been better if I got the ring and his name before the baby, but I guess I can deal."

"Have you guys talked about marriage?"

"Yes and no, I told him eventually I want to get married. But I am still so young, and I told him I didn't want to be tied down that way now well this was before I was pregnant, I mean I made the commitment to be an old lady, but he must of misinterpret that to no ring yet, must give baby in his caveman animalistic way."

"Well, I think Jax would be stupid to let you go, and not marry you in the future."

* * *

"Emma, wake up," I hear softly in my ear, and feel kisses being place on face. Reaching up mindlessly I grab ahold of Jax by his hair and pull him down into a kiss.

"I missed you, and your beard, grow it back please, did you win me anything?"

Laughing, "Yeah, I won you a big giraffe and Abel a mini one. But I got better news I can take you to see Abel in the toaster."

"Really!" I sit up in the bed.

Nodding his head, "Yeah, but I am on strict orders to make sure you only stay in the wheelchair. So no quickies."

"Perv. Besides you wouldn't be getting any quickies anytime soon. My six weeks aren't over."

"I can't wait because my dick is going through severe Emma withdrawals," he comments picking me up and placing me into the wheelchair.

* * *

"Jax Oh god is so small!" I say muffling a cry looking at my baby boy in the toaster connected to all these machines.

"Hey, don't do that crying. He will make it. Our blood is running through his veins," bringing me closer to the incubator, "he looks like you though, you can put your hand in there."

"No, that is the spitting image of you," as I leaned in closer his blue eyes open at the sound of my voice putting my hand through the opening, Abel grips my finger, "and he has a grip like his father." I say laughing.

"Doesn't want to let you go like his father," Jax whispers in my ear.

Giving him a smile, "I love you Jax," I whisper so low I am surprised if he hears it, "look what we created," I turn my gaze back to my boy and start saying little things to him.

Kissing me on the top of my head, "I love you too Em."

After about ten minutes of cooing to Abel, "I see he already has the monopoly of your time," Jax states looking at me from the rocking chair they provide.

Arching my eyebrow, "Is someone getting jealous?"

"I will be if he comes in between mommy and daddy time."

"Jackson Teller, are you jealous of your newborn son?" I say laughing.

"Nooooo, okay maybe a little," he admits playfully.

"Don't worry, I will make sure daddy gets playtime."

"You better"

"You know Tara is engaged?" I ask Jax.

"Well yeah, I realized when I seen the rock on her finger," he chuckles, "was someone worried with jealousy," he says mockingly.

"Shut up."

"Don't worry, that is dead history anyways," he comes up and kisses me on the lips, "you ready to go back to your room? I can bring you back tomorrow."

Looking back and realizing Abel is asleep, I reluctantly decide to go.

After being placed back in my bed, "Do you know why all the cops were here? I feel like everyone from the station came and dropped by."

"Did Captain America stop by?" Jax says sitting at the edge of my bed looking at all the flower arrangements, "Who gave you pink roses?"

Looking over to the flowers, I realize they weren't there before, "I don't know, the nurses must of brought them in while we were with Abel."

Jax gets up to check them, "No name and you still didn't answer my question."

Rolling my eyes, "You are such a teenager sulking over a toy with him over me. It was one kiss, Jax. By the way, it whipped your ass in gear. No he didn't give me those, but you didn't answer my question." Realizing he has an agitated look on his face, "What is it? Tell me Jax."

"Oswald's daughter, Tristen, was raped by one of the carnival clowns."

"Is she alright, my god she is what 13. I should go visit her tomorrow, offer her some dance lessons it might help her cope. Did they catch him?"

"Elliot came to us, and wanted us to bring him to him. Clay on the other hand had ulterior motives. When we got the man Elliot couldn't do it, but Clay blackmailed him. Took the knife and basically castrated the man. Basically taking out real estate insurance to keep Charming contained, and I am supposed to be his number two, but he doesn't tell me anything."

Motioning for him to come forward, he lays his head down on my lap, and I rub my hands through his hair, "What else is it Jax?"

Shaking his head, "Babe, I barely just got you back. Can it be like the old times when I was just Jackson Teller, your dotting boyfriend? Being with you makes me forget all the bad shit that happens. You know I wish I could have been there more when you were pregnant to have been able to feel Abel inside of you."

"Jax, you are going to have to tell me eventually. Ignorance isn't good for our relationship."

Bringing his head up to meet my eyes, "I know babe, as long as you are in the hospital can we live in ignorant bliss. Just worry about you and Abel."

"Okay, but Jax I don't think they are going to let you stay the night with me."

Groaning, "I can't take it sleeping without you any longer. I am going to have to bust you out the place."

"It is two more days as the max. If everything goes well tomorrow I will be able to leave then, but it doesn't matter I will be practically living here till Abel is released home anyways."

"How long do I have to wait?" he starts rubbing circles on my inner thighs.

"One week down, five more to go."

"You know your boobs got really big? I don't know how I feel about that," he goes and starts caressing my boobs, and tries to unbutton my blouse which some successfully come undone. _Shit so much for taking it slow._

"Jax, stop," I whisper trying to swat him away.

"Babe, just one nibble," He says mainly focused on my boobs.

Giving in, I almost die of laughter when Jax jumps back after a hard suck when my milk leaks out, "Oh I forgot, they been pumping me, and feeding Abel through this tube." As it didn't faze him, he goes back again, "Oh my god Jax, are you serious."

Nodding his head while sucking on my nipple which are super sensitive now, and tweaking on my other one with hand, "Jax, you need to stop, I can't take this seriously," I say moaning and covering my mouth with my hand.

Stopping "Your milk taste good oddly, is Sabrina is going to be here tomorrow, right?"

Stuffing my boobs back in my blouse, "Yes, will I see you tomorrow?"

"Of course, babe, oh I need to show you something before I leave," he starts by taking of his kutte, gun holster, and his many layers of shirts.

"Jax are you serious, you can't be really trying to strip I think I am well acquainted with that part of your body," I start saying but stop when I noticed what he wants to show me. Putting my hand over my mouth in shock I see Abel's name across his heart on his chest, instantly tears come to my eyes.

"My next one is going to be your name; I am going to let you decide where though," walking up to me giving me a kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too," I say while lightly tracing the tattoo with my hand.

* * *

**Hey guys I need your help where should Jax get the tattoo of Emma's name. I was thinking of the neck but Jax doesn't seem a neck tattoo type of guy. Than I was thinking it could go down his side in big letters, but than I thought that was too girly and it might clash with the back tattoo. I was thinking him getting some type of Pin-Up girl that resembles Emma on his upper arm. Or Get her name on his forearm like he has "Thomas" on the show, but if I eventually get deeper in the story Thomas may or may not come but that space for a tattoo is technically taken unless I do it on the other arm but that is taken by the tattoo for his father. **

**But thanks for all the reviews and follows**

**-Tori.**


	8. Chapter 8

"So Emma everything looks good, you are free to go," Tara says with going through my charts, "and even though you already know just to reiterate you do get 24/7 accesses to Abel while he is in the NICU."

"Okay, thanks Tara," I say gratefully.

"No problem, bye Emma, Sabrina."

"God, how can you be so nice to her?" Sabrina says from her seat.

"Oh stop it; to be honest I am not an insecure bitch. So I feel I have nothing to worry about when it comes to Jax in Charming," I say confidently even though I have my doubts especially when it comes to runs.

"Hold up, wait a minute. Did I miss something? When the fuck did you two get back together!"

"Will you lower your voice; I guess it is safe to say we are going to try for the sake of Abel. I wanted to take it slow, but Jax obviously doesn't understand that meaning."

"Honey, he has been deprived of pussy for the past 5 months, and not just any pussy your pussy. Now he can't just jump you anytime he has to wait another five weeks, be prepared to have your mouth occupied a lot," she smirks at me.

"Jeez, do you need to be so vulgar?"

"Tell that to your old man, I am pretty sure I heard him tell Happy how you are the best pussy he ever had, and how you fit perfectly with him when he was moping around our apartment for the past five months."

"You didn't tell me he was staying at your apartment?" Shocked this never came up.

"He wasn't, it was only after church on Fridays and your man was the occasional cock blocker."

"Oh, how are you and Happy anyway?"

"Hmm how we are, don't get me started on that asshole. We got in a huge argument over what clothes I wear! Clothes for god sake! He was going on how I show off _his _assets to these scums in Charming because my clothes are so-called too short and tight. Can you believe that? He is so moody I swear. This isn't even the best part. After a view choice words on my opinion of him and shit, coming to realize he was actually arguing and showing emotions these were his exact words, _'You know what, I am not about to argue with you like some bitch. If you want to be my old lady, you better do as I say and change that fucking wardrobe or you will be walking around in a potato sack.' _Telling him to fuck off, he just goes to leave. So after a while, being the wonderful girlfriend I am, I go to the clubhouse to try and work things out. You will not believe what I saw. That nasty excuse of vagina Nikki was pushing up all on him, and he was clearly enjoying it. After causing a scene, which is so out of character for me, Happy took me back to the dorm and proceeded to fuck me senseless. I would still be pissed if the dick wasn't so good."

"Oh wow, so is everything good now?" I say after taking in her story.

"I guess, he told me that I am getting his crow though." she says smiling.

"I take it your happy?"

"Hell, yeah, after putting up with his ass for three years I deserve it! The only reason I did though is because his mother is such a wonderful lady," she says with a glow in her eyes.

"Okay, on a more serious topic how is the studio?"

"It is all going good girl, oh you got a dozen of pink roses sent to you with congratulations but no name, other than that, I told you don't worry. Everyone misses you. Donna took over your pregnancy classes though, but we need to talk about her." She says getting up and locking the door.

"What is it? Is she okay?"

"She is struggling Em, her and Opie. When I was talking to Gem, she said Donna's check bounced at the grocery store the other day and she couldn't even purchase food. Are we not paying her enough?"

"We can give her a raise, but we all offer to help her though when Opie was away for the two years though. I didn't know it was this bad."

"Well I been giving her extra for the pregnancy classes, it is hard to help her though. Since Opie was locked up she became more distant and bitter towards everyone associated with SAMCRO, even us sometimes when was the last time we had a girl's night out?"

"But think of her position though; leave a woman alone with two kids and all she knows is she never wants to feel that again."

"But it was Kyle's dumbass that got Opie sent away."

"You really think Donna knows that? Opie doesn't tell her shit."

"Relationships like that will never work, especially when he becomes VP to Jax."

"There isn't anything we can do, but let's go visit Abel, I haven't seen my baby today," I say excitedly.

"Okay, mommy," Sabrina says following me out the room.

* * *

"Oh Emma, he is so adorable! He looks like Jax already," Sabrina says gushing at him.

"Don't remind me," I say laughing.

"Speaking of Jax," she nods her head at the window, "I will see you later, 'kay?"

"Alright, bye, S."

Giving Sabrina a kiss on the cheek when she leaves, Jax makes his way over to me giving me a deep kiss, "Hey babe, how is the little guy doing?" Cradling my face with his hands.

"He is doing well today; I am hoping we will be able to take him home sooner. I don't know if I can handle him being here for two months," I say wrapping my arms around his waist.

Giving me another quick kiss, "Don't stress out about it babe, but I got some news I know you aren't going to like," Raising my eyebrow for him to continue, "I will be gone for a couple days to visit Uncle Jerry."

"In Nevada," I say pulling back.

"Babe, I know shitty timing especially with you being released today. There is nothing more than I would like to do than spend the day with you at home."

"It's not that I am worried about Jax." Silently indicting the Wendy situation.

"Babe, you can trust me. I am never going to do any stupid shit like that again. Plus all the guys would kill me before you even got the chance to cut my dick off, and slash my tires," he says trying to make light of the situation.

"Jax, I am not going to lie. It still hurts. What did I do to make you seek out someone else?" I say revealing the true nature of my pain.

Coming up to me, "Babe, listen to me, I was the one that was a stupid asshole who didn't have enough self-control. It will never happen again, I swear. Trust me, babe. I fucking love you too much to do that again. I am just the idiot that keeps messing up. None of the blame is on your side darlin'."

Accepting his answer, "I am serious Jax, I will not tolerate it again, I will seriously be done with everything, and I am not pregnant this time, if I catch a whiff of skank on you it won't be pretty."

"Aye, aye captain," making us both laugh, "I will call you throughout the day to check up on you and little man, and especially for a late night phone call."

"Jax, you need to quit talking nasty around our son." Turning into mommy mode.

"Looking at you being a Mama Bear, Babe, he is part of me, his first words are probably going to be pussy." Smacking him in his chest, "I am only kidding."

"You better be, but be safe okay."

"Always babe," giving me a lingering kiss, "bye mommy."

Rolling my eyes, "Bye _Daddy."_

* * *

"I can't believe Clay let Jax go to Nevada alone," Gemma says pacing in my living room while I am sitting on the couch.

"He will be fine, and he said he was with Bobby, Gem," I say.

"You okay with that," she says referring to Nevada and Wendy most likely being there.

"I trust him, if that is what you are asking."

"I know you do, do you trust _them_."

"I am used to the croweaters gunning for him. You know I am not an insecure bitch, I never needed to be till Jax gave me a reason."

"Honey, that is dead history now. I ripped him a new when I found out what he did that to you. But it is good to have you home and back."

"I know it feels good too."

"Since your home, you need a little sunshine, so I need your help with setting up the booth for the school fundraiser. Are you going to do anything this year?"

"Yeah, of course, since I am out for the moment, Sabrina might do a couple dance things for kids since I can't do the ballet or simple gymnastics for girls. She said the interns though will be setting up a little military thing for the boys and girls to do though."

"Hey has Jax been acting different or strange to you?" Wow that was out of left field.

"What do you mean?" I say totally confused.

"You know what nevermind. So do you plan on doing anything to the house?"

"Actually yeah, I do," and were both distracted for the rest of the day.

After deciding on a new color scheme, I tell Gemma I won't make any final decisions tell I at least get Jax's opinion, which she replies with a sarcastic remark of Jax won't give a rat's ass as long as I am here. Getting out the shower, I realize my phone is buzzing on the dresser.

"Hey babe," I am greeted by his voice over the phone before I can answer.

"How you even know it was me, and not my boyfriend answering the phone," I tease.

"Funny, so how was your day?"

"Good, I decided to renovate the house a little. Your mom helped out too."

"Great, so your back and spending all my money," he says sarcastically.

"Shut up."

"So what are you doing now?"

Laying across the bed in my towel, "I just got out the shower," I say seductively.

"Damn, babe, what do you expect me to do with that entail," he says after a sharp intake of breathe.

"Use your imagination," I tease," but seriously how is Nevada?"

Sighing, "It is alright, and before you worry yourself, Wendy doesn't exist here anymore, she turned her life around apparently."

"Wow, I'm impressed, I think, but I can tell something else is weighing on your mind."

"Clay made an another decision, and wants to patch them over." He says irritated.

"Jury's crew? They don't seem like SOA material," I say.

"They're not, and with the Mayans pressing heat he wants to patch them over and leave them unprotected."

"What does everyone else think?"

"They all think with Abel and you it is putting noise in my head."

"Who said that?" I say getting pissed.

"It doesn't matter, babe, so like you were saying you are in nothing but a towel."

"Jackson Teller are you trying to have phone sex?" He is obviously trying to distract me from the conversation so I let him.

"Yeah, babe, and you are kinda killing the mood," and that leads into my restless and busy night.

* * *

_Following night. _

"Hey Emma, this came to you in the mail," Tara says catching up to me while making my way to Abel.

"Why would someone send mail for me here?" I say looking at the manila envelope with my name on it but my last name is replaced with Teller _strange_.

"Maybe someone heard about the situation and didn't know your home address," accepting the answer I mumble a thank you. Making my way into Abel's room, and see my little boy is sleeping. Making sure no one is watching me, I open the envelope.

_Is this the life you want for your family. No one is safe. Get out before it is too late _is written on a yellow sticky note_. _I realize there is a stack of photos. Going through them I realize these were just taken the day before and last night and pictures of mostly Jax in Nevada, and come across pictures of a shootout. Going through the rest of the pictures I try and find any type of address or indication who could of sent them, but there is nothing. _What the hell. _I stash the photos in my bag as I realize Jax is making his way in.

"Hey, I thought you were staying down there for an extra day?" I say greeting him with a kiss.

"Yeah, I was, but I wanted to be here with you instead," he can be so romantic at times, "how is the kid?"

"He is good," I say turning my attention to Abel who is looking at both of us.

"Look, he recognizes us," Jax says awed.

"Of course he does," I giggle, "it was worse when he was in the womb, he would go crazy when he would hear your voice."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it did some serious damage on my bladder that is why I went to the bathroom a lot, or was practically immobile when you would check on me."

"And I thought it was because you didn't want to see my face. Hey you alright? You look frazzled."

"I wonder why? A biker kept me up all night till the early morning over the phone."

"That was only a tease," he says kissing me.

Brushing my hand by his crotch, "It is only five weeks Jax."

"Hey don't go playing with fire, I can combust any minute here," Jax says jokingly.

"Jax, someone sent more pink roses, but to the studio, no name," I say.

Tensing, "Are you getting other stuff?"

Should I mention the pictures? "No, I think it is just someone who doesn't want to be known that they associate with SAMCRO or something."

"Alright, but let me know if more are sent."

"Okay, Jax are you serious?" I say as I feel his erection on my stomach.

"I would be sorry, but I am not."

"In front of your son really?"

"Babe, we haven't went parking in awhile," he says smirking.

* * *

**Hey just for some background info, I changed Opie's jail time from five years to two to make it fit better for my age range of the characters. Also Since this is all in Emma's POV, I think it is safe to assume that whatever happens in the episodes pertaining to club business, and other characters are all the same unless I directly mention it in here. **

**Thanks to all the follows and favorites, and be sure to check out the story I am co-writing with LovingJacksonTeller called "All We Know Is Falling" which is another SOA fan-fic. **

**-Tori**


	9. Chapter 9

"How did you get this thing in here?" Opie huffs while he and Jax, who are shirtless by the way but my main focus is Jax, try to maneuver a play pin out there stuff garage.

"By myself," Donna replies, and a stack of various things come tumbling out when they pull it out.

"Jeez, he makes a mess whenever he goes," I say referring to Jax, and I go to pick up some of the stuff, and putting it back in place the best I can.

"Sorry," Jax says to Donna, and tries to discreetly cop a feel of my ass when I bend to pick up a few things in front of him.

"Behave yourself," I scold him playfully while he backs up smiling and takes the play pin with Opie to put it in the back of my truck. "How much do you want?" I ask Donna while pulling out some cash.

"Forget it, it's a gift," Donna says trying to give me back the cash.

"Donna, we're getting a deal. Take it or I will put it in your paycheck."

"That's not fair," she takes the cash, "and too much," she says seeing the two hundred dollar bills.

"Will I see you at the Taste of Charming fundraiser?" Diverting the conversation, "Opie is doing the fireworks."

"I don't know." She says shocked mixed with annoyed, obviously Opie didn't tell her this.

"D, it's not a club thing. Gemma started it years ago. She is raising money for the school district this year. Plus it would be fun for the kids; you can have some fun socialize." I say trying to sale the idea to her.

Caving in, "All right we'll be there."

"It will be fun I promise. Thanks for the play pin," I say giving her a hug and head to the truck.

Meeting Jax, who now has his simple white tee on with his kutte, at my truck, "I am going to drop this off at the house, then head over to see Abel before becoming your mom's slave." I say wrapping my arms around his neck.

Nodding and giving me quick kiss, "How much you give her?"

"$200"

Not fazed by the amount, knowing Donna and Opie need help, "Alright, do you want me to just give you ride over there to the fundraiser?"

"No I can drive my truck perfectly fine. Thank you very much."

"Alright, alright. I was trying to be chivalrous."

"Or were you trying to rebrand me?" I say arching my eyebrow.

"Okay you got me, but seriously babe, having a baby totally agreed with your body," he says taking a step back to view my body, "Your ass and tits should be illegal, and these idiots out here need to know you are mine." He says seriously.

"Baby, you have nothing to worry about, I am all yours."

Pulling me closer, "Damn right you are." Giving me a goodbye kiss, "When you get to the house make sure you change your shirt or put something on to go over this," and cops a feel of my boob. Rolling my eyes, "I am serious Em." _Of course he is. _I get in the truck and blow him a kiss, and drive to go drop off the play pin at the house and go visit Abel.

* * *

"_I will not eat them in a house, i will not eat them with a mouse,i will not eat them in a box i will not eat them with a fox, i will not eat them here of there i will not eat them anywhere, I do not like green eggs and ham i do not like them sam i am" _

― _Dr. Seuss, Green Eggs and Ham_

I read softly to Abel who is wide awake looking at me, seeing a shadow being over casted over the both of us, I look up. An older gentleman with salt and pepper hair is observing us, and gives me a smile. Putting the book down, and walking out into the hallway, "Can I help you?"

The man taking a quick glance back at Abel, than turns to me looking at me with his full attention, or eye fucking me I should say. "He is a beautiful boy."

"Thanks."

"Well have a good day," he says and walks away. _Weird._

* * *

This year for the Taste of Charming festival Gemma decided to benefit the local high school's music program, and of course she has it on the hottest day of the summer. Seeing Gemma is occupied with LuAnn, and some other old ladies and sweet butts, I sneak by the coolers to lounge away putting my sunglasses over my eyes.

"Get your lazy ass up," Gemma scolds me playfully.

Acting like I am parched and dying of heat wave the sun is bringing. "But Gem, the sun and its heat it killing me. I don't know if I can work at the booth and set up."

"Well I am sorry. You can work on your tan line for the compensation of the sun. Now get your ass up. Have you heard from the boys? Bobby was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago."

Before I can say anything, we both see a Bobby aka Elvis hustling his way over to his booth, "You're late Elvis!" Gemma scolds him as he tries to fix his hair, and he says something about his helmet messing up his hair. Getting up from the cooler I go to help serve the chili that everyone loves. After serving for about 10 minutes pushing up my sunglasses to my forehead, "What's Kyle doing here?" I ask Gemma when I look up towards the entrance of the park, and at this exact moment we both witness Jax push him up to the wall by his collar. Jax looking over must feel us watching him, as he slowly releases Kyle.

"April wanted him to see their boy play in his band, so I asked Clay to see if it could happen" she finally answers.

"Well aren't you charitable, how does Opie feel about this?"

"It was a club vote, so he must feel okay with it, why don't you take a break, Donna is all by herself."

"Are you sure?" with a nod of her head, I leave and make my way to Donna.

"I see you made it," I say when I reached her.

"Yeah, thanks for convincing me in coming, the kids are really enjoying themselves. Hey, what do you know about the Kyle Hobart guy, is he out of SAMCRO?" Opie really needs to have full disclosure with her.

"Kyle got kicked out, D." I say doing the best thing give her the truth.

"Why?"

"He was supposed to be Opie's getaway ride, but bailed when he heard sirens. Opie never said anything because he isn't a rat."

"He never said anything to me." Donna says hurt that Opie never mentioned this truth to her.

"Did you really want to know? You barely want to know what happens now."

"I feel like I have a right to know that. My husband, father of my children, was away for two years because of that."

"Donna, you can't have it both ways, you either know it all or nothing. He gives you something little than you will start wondering about everything else. Is he lying, what is he really doing. It works best if you have full disclosure, like Jax and I-"

Cutting me off, "What changed your tune, I thought you despised, Jax. Did you have full disclosure when he cheated on you because now you are walking around like it never happened. Like nothing he does for the club doesn't matter no matter who gets hurt."

Talk about a low blow, "Donna, no matter how I feel about Jax, I am not going to pull him in ten different directions. This is the life all he and Opie know. They both will never walk away from the club. We both know that." We both need to accept this truth, I think to myself.

"So what are you trying to say?"

"What you are doing can get him killed. We're the glue Donna, not his brothers, not even Jax. You are Opie's glue, his true north."

Before she can respond, "Mommy, Auntie Em, look what I got for baby Abel!" Kenny says rushing up to us handing me a Captain America plush toy.

"Aww aren't you special, I am sure Abel will love it," I say giving him a peck on the head, "I should head back to Gem. Just think about what I said at least."

* * *

"Hey chief, should you be eating all the fried stuff?" I tell him looking at his fried chicken, bake beans, and fried corn.

"You only live once right," he says laughing.

"How is everything going with the cancer?" I ask him.

"Just going. I wish you didn't have to go through what you are going through with Abel. You don't deserve that." Shrugging my shoulders not really knowing what to say my attention is caught by salt and pepper hair, "Hey, who is that guy behind the grill?"

Turning to look where I am indicting at, "Oh, That's our new best friend, Agent Kohn, ATF" Unser replies.

"ATF? Is grilling sausage part of his job description?"

"Who knows, I feel like I don't even run the goddamn station anymore, I don't have time worrying about that."

* * *

Taking a break, and going to find some shade to relax in, I jumped when Jax comes up from behind me and wraps his arms around me, "What's up?" I say leaning into him.

"Clay called, I need to go, and I just wanted to let you know." He says in my ear.

"Gemma is going to be pissed," turning around and leaning in to give him a kiss, I freeze when I notice Agent Kohn is staring at us. Confused by my action, Jax turns around, "What is it?"

"That guy he is with the ATF." I say nodding my head slightly indicting who it is.

"Has he said anything to you?" Jax says looking back at me like any words said to me will leave marks on my body.

"No, not really, today before I came when I was with Abel he was watching us. It was creepy."

"Why didn't you tell me?" his nostrils flaring.

"Jax, don't be getting pissed at me, all he said was Abel was beautiful baby and left." Leaving out the eye fucking which would make Jax go nuclear.

"You tell me if he contacts you in anyway, 'aight, and if he leaves you call me ASAP." He says buttoning up his blue plaid shirt I put over my white beater at his request.

"Pre-pay?"

"Yeah," giving me a kiss, "I mean it, stay near Gemma or Sabrina, and if you need to leave without them make sure you take someone with you."

"Jax, isn't that a little too much?" I say annoyed I need protection now.

"Don't Em," he warns, "see you later. I will probably be late so don't wait up."

"Alright, love you."

"Love you too, when you see Abel give him some love for me, and don't unbutton that shirt." Rolling my eyes, I put my sunglasses on covering my eyes, and go back to relaxing in the shade.

* * *

_Later that night_

I was in a deep sleep, but I am jolted awake when I feel arms wrap around me pulling me close on a necked chest, "Don't worry it's me babe." Relaxing because I know it is Jax, I snuggle closer into him to try and go to sleep. After a few minutes I realize I can't because I can literally feel the tension coming off of Jax. Turning over to face him, I realize he is still wide awake.

"What is it baby?" I ask stroking his face hoping it will somehow calm him. Inhaling deeply and holding me closer and tighter he doesn't answer me. "Jax, you can tell me. I don't want you to have to carry all of this, that's why I am your old lady."

Lying on his back taking me with him with my head on his chest, and I start mindlessly running patterns with my hands over his chest, "Today at the carnival while Op and I were talking Kyle's shirt went up. He was still tatted. Basically, we got him to the clubhouse. It was either fire or knife." Jax doesn't say no more, and the tension somewhat leaves his body. Not knowing what to do I remove his shirt I am wearing to bed; I straddle his body taking him by surprise lay my head on his chest giving him a kiss. Knowing this is the only skin to skin contact that can happen for now, neither of us saying a word, Jax's start to play with my hair slowly relaxing till I feel the rhythmic breathing of his sleep which lulls me to sleep with him.

* * *

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites.**

**Also Green Eggs and Ham belongs to Dr. Suess. **

**-Tori**


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, babe I have a meet I need to go to today with Piney," Jax says coming into the kitchen giving me a kiss on the lips.

"Okay, another late night?" I say taking a sip of my orange juice.

"It shouldn't be, I hope not," he says making himself some coffee, and I scrunch my nose.

Laughing, "Still not a coffee fan."

"No, I don't understand how you drink that. Bitter taste, I am surprised you don't try and franchise a Starbuck's here."

"That is a good idea, maybe I should since it is one of my favorite things to sip on, other than your pussy," he says coming closer and lifting me up on the counter.

"Jax, you know we can't," I say while he kisses me on my neck, while sucking knowing he is leaving love bites, and starts fondling with the button of my jean shorts.

"I know, I know," he says but still continuing his ministrations.

"Are you sure? Your other head doesn't think so." Sucking on a pulse point I reactively buck my hips into him which causes him to groan. Not giving a fuck anymore, I wrap my legs around him pushing him in closer, and start grinding on him, which results in him biting my shoulder. Who would think dry humping like teenagers would be so satisfying, before we both can finish his phone goes off. _FUCK! _Obviously frustrated, he grabs his phone. Answering his phone he barks out what and tells him he is on his way.

"Sorry, babe, I got to go."

Now me being sexually frustrated wave him off with my hands to his amusement, and go to leave in search for some new panties. Before I leave he pulls me back and reminds me to have someone with me at all times if I leave the house, and kisses me goodbye.

After finding a new set of underwear to put on, I realize since Jax and I are living together again my once spotless house is turning into a mess as he doesn't understand the use of a hamper, coat and shoe rack, or containers to stash his various things. Putting a load into the washer, I hear someone knock on the door. As soon as I open the door I am met with a very pissed off Gemma and all I hear is, "Fuck this, him, or boney ass bitch, Useless piece of shit, How does this happen to me?" Letting her vent out whatever comes into her head, I go and find something for her to drink. Coming back with some raspberry tea, I realized she has calm down a little.

"You alright, Gem?"

Not answering for a second, "No, baby, I am fucking pissed to the max. Now I know how you felt?"

"Felt about what?"

"When Jax's indiscretion showed up on your doorstep," she says with no emotion.

"Clay got a girl pregnant!"

"No, but some tart he banged in Nevada showed up today. I wouldn't have thought anything about it till I saw Half-Sacks heart nearly jump out his chest," Nevada that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, "this shit doesn't happen to me Em, and slaps me in the goddamn face." I realize she looks overheated.

"You alright, Gem. You don't look so good."

"I'm fine, I think its menopause, LuAnn recommended something," she says taking a sip of the tea.

"So what have you decided what you are going to do about the "tart" and Clay?"

"I don't know," she looks at me than squints her eyes, "Damn Jax sure did a work on your neck," she says laughing.

Jumping up, I go look in the mirror, and sure enough my left side of my neck looks like I got hit will multiple paintballs. Luckily my hair is long enough to cover it.

"What are you plans today?" she says changing the subject.

"Well I plan on going to see Abel like usual, and then I need to do some shopping. Your son is not the cleanest person and has an appetite for 20 people."

"Well I need to go to the market anyways, and how bout I go visit Abel with you?"

"Sounds fine to me." I say and we both finish our drinks and get ready to leave.

Making our way out the store, I hear Gemma mutter skinny bitch, and next thing I know she takes out a scrawny brunette girl with a skateboard. Can't even run because there is witnesses _shit_.

Turning to me, "You go; Jax will be pissed if you get locked up over my shit."

"Okay, you call me alright and let me know if you are alright." Looking over at the girl profusely bleeding from the nose, I make a reminder mentally to never piss off Gemma.

Nodding her head, so goes sits on the curb; while I leave I see her being taken away in cuffs.

Deciding to go check on Abel before telling Jax the news about his mother, when I make it to Abel's room I see the Agent Kohn is there with Abel watching him.

"Excuse me, who the hell do you think you are. You are not family, and most definitely not medical staff get the fuck away from my son."

Eying me too long and necessary for my liking, _creep_, "you know you can do so much better than being with an outlaw biker. You can be with someone who would fully appreciate you for what your worth," I hope he doesn't mean him, "If want to know the future of you and your son be at SAMCRO in 45 minutes."

Leaving me after a lingering stare, I make sure Abel is okay and page Tara. After telling her the situation, she tells me this will not happen again and she will make sure of it, after she leaves I try to call Jax and warn him about Kohn, but of course he doesn't answer. After about 10 tries I decided to head out to the clubhouse. Pulling up the street I realize the clubhouse it cut off, and the boys our on the ground, including Jax.

Heading back to the house to put the cleaning supplies away, and hoping none of the food I bought spoiled, which it didn't thank god. Deciding to call it a night, and still not hearing from Jax, I go to bed. The following morning, I check my phone and still no response from Jax, I call Sabrina to check up on the studio, but she tells me she was just on her way over so she will see me in a little bit. Honking her horn, I go outside.

"Why are you honking your horn?" I ask her when I make it to her window.

"Well I actually wanted to go see Abel, but family only is allowed, so get your ass in the car and let's go see my nephew!" Sabrina says putting her sunglasses up on her head, "Damn girl cover up that neck."

Rolling my eyes, "Alright let me grab my stuff," I say hustling back to the making sure my hickies are less noticeable.

"Aww Em he is getting so big, I bet you are dying to finally get to hold him," Sabrina says while Abel as a hold of her finger.

"Yeah, I can't wait," I say looking at Abel through the glass.

"God, this makes me want a baby," Sabrina says quietly which catches my attention.

"How does Happy feel about this?"

"I don't know, it is hard to read Happy the only emotion I can get is angry, or horny. There is never an in between. Plus he technically is still Nomad, and we're at a good place right now and why mess up the flow with a baby."

"Does he want kids?"

"I don't know." She has been with him for three years, what do they do just fuck, even then there should be some conversation. Before I can answer my elusive boyfriend comes through the door.

"S, I will probably drop by the studio later to check things out okay," knowing my tone of voice, she understands I am going to give Jax a verbal ass whooping over something.

As soon as she leaves, "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"Woah, no kiss or nothing." He says putting his hands up.

"I am being serious Jax, I haven't heard from you at all since yesterday morning! Your mother got arrested, Kohn was in here with Abel giving me a creepy vibe, and lets not mention I saw ATF raiding the clubhouse while you were on the ground. So sorry I am a little pissed that my boyfriend couldn't even send me a smiley face text indicting he is alright."

"What the fuck was Kohn doing here?"

"He warned me and Abel about our future with you, don't worry I voice my opinion to Tara about this" I am pissed a tear escaped my eyes.

Hugging me, "Babe, he is just putting smoke in your ears. Don't listen to that shit. They have nothing on SAMCRO. After finishing our visit with little man let's take a ride okay?"

* * *

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites!**

**Since this chapter is kinda of short I might just upload chapter 11 later today or tomorrow. But there is only 7 chapters left of the main stories besides the one-shots I will post while working on my version of season 2.**

**-Tori**


	11. Chapter 11

Enjoying our ride around Charming, when we make it back to our house I notice a compact car is following us. Getting off the back of his bike and putting my helmet on the handlebars, "Jax that compact down the block has been following us, I think since we left the hospital." I say indicting with a nod with my head. Jax taking a look back, and me getting a clearer image, we both realize it Kohn.

Jax turning back to me "Go inside and lock the door," and he starts walking away from me towards Kohn who is still sitting in his car.

"Jax, don't do anything he is-"

"Get in the house now, Em," doing as I am told, I go inside, and find the nearest window, and watch Jax plunge his knife into the front of Kohn's car, and they both stand toe to toe. Jax coming back into the house obviously pissed goes and checks the window to see what Kohn is doing.

"Em, grab an overnight bag, we're going to stay at the clubhouse tonight. I'll drop you off at the studio, I might send a patch to shadow you okay" before I move from my position, "he is not going to do anything. Don't waste any energy on that asshole, okay?"

"Did he say something, Jax?" I say worried Kohn could of said something about me, or Jax could face serious consequences from plunging a knife into a feds car.

"Hey don't even worry about it, I got this let me handle this."

* * *

"That is creepy as hell," Sabrina says after I recant all my experiences about Kohn on the bench outside the studio waiting for my ride, "I am surprised Jax didn't slice his throat right then and there."

"I know, I think he sent the envelope."

"I think you should of told Jax about that, but it makes me wonder is he truly here not for SAMCRO or you?"

"God, don't even say something like that." Not saying anything for a few seconds, "I am scared S, I mean it isn't me anymore, I need to think about Abel, do I really want this for him?"

"Em, I know this is hard, I wish I could give you advice, but know before Happy, the club, or whatever, I will support you in whatever you decide to do at the end of the day, no matter what."

"Thanks, S."

"Okay enough with the depressing shit, how has Jax been handling the six week wait?"

"The other day, we were dry humping like teenagers," showing her my not really fading love bites, "he is always initiating some type of contact, but I am sick of giving blow jobs, tomorrow is my doctor's appointment hopefully I am in the clear, because I am even getting frustrated."

"You didn't even make him wait this long when you were a virgin." She says smiling.

"Yeah I did, I made him wait two months," I say glaring at her.

"Okay, okay, stop with the mean mug. So I think you should wait coming back here, even if the doctor clears you with coming back to work. You need the time with Abel."

"Well I can at least work till he officially comes home. I can't be in the house any longer."

"Well you better get used to it because with Kohn still here Jax is going to have you on lockdown."

"Yeah, I know, we're staying at the clubhouse tonight."

"Well good luck with that and it looks like your man is here to pick you up." Standing up from the bench I give Sabrina a hug, and make my way to Jax's bike.

* * *

Opening his dorm's door, "What the hell happened in here." Looking in it seems a tornado came through. Pictures everywhere, busted TV, turn up bed, broken glasses, and clothes thrown everywhere. Both of us going in he sets our bags down in an area not too affected by the mess, and we both start cleaning. Making my way to his dresser, and resetting it I notice all the pictures he usually has stuck to his mirror are untouched than I realize a few are missing. "Jax."

"Yeah, babe," I hear him huff knowing this is the most cleaning he has done in his lifetime.

"There are pictures missing from your mirror," I say turning to him.

"Are you sure? I mean I had a lot of pictures." I should know because I put most of them up there.

"Yeah, the picture of us on Halloween, where I got you to dress up as an Englishman, also the one of us on your bike, the one on my birthday where we were covered in cake, and the picture of you and Tommy on the beach."

"It could be somewhere else in this mess," he comes over inspecting the mirror.

"I don't think so, the mirror and the pictures were the only things untouched over here," thinking about the ATF raid, "was Kohn part of the raid?"

"Babe, just don't worry about, if you want to stop and take a break you can." He says avoiding my question.

"No, it will be quicker with the two of us, and you can't clean for shit," the mood is now somewhat back in order.

After finishing cleaning, I take a shower, and put on one of his SAMCRO shirts and find Jax already in bed smoking a cigarette.

"Damn, this reminds of the old days," he says smiling.

"Well sorry you won't be getting any nookie tonight," I say while climbing into bed.

"Just holding you in my arms will be enough," he says pulling me into him.

"You know you can be extremely romantic."

"Only with you, only with you."

* * *

"Hey babe, your mom is going to take me home. She has some stuff she bought Abel," I say into a still sleeping Jax's ear.

"Babe, why are you up, it is so early," he mumbles into a pillow.

"It's 11 o'clock sleepyhead," I get up and smack him in the ass.

Turning around to lay on his back "Babe, that blowjob wore me out," he says looking at me smirking referring to the use of the ice cream and whipped cream I used earlier this morning.

"Yeah, and I messed up the sheets which you are getting all sticky in," I say putting on my shoes.

"I know what else to get sticky."

"Jackson Teller that is your one blow job for the day, I think it is time for you to use a croweater," I tease.

"When are your 6 weeks up?" He says grabbing and lightening a cigarette.

"I have an appointment today," getting up and grabbing my purse.

Nodding his head, "I will call you later, okay."

"Love you," giving him a kiss.

Returning the kiss, "Love you too."

"And make sure you change the sheets before you leave," I say when I make my way out the door.

* * *

Gemma and I making our way into the house, I go to put Jax and mine clothes in the bedroom, but stop when I realize Abel's room is trashed.

"Gem!" I yell.

Walking into the room, I see pictures mostly of me from the past weeks up on the wall, and some of Jax and I, or by himself, and the ones with me his face is scratched out. Getting closer when I step the floor gets all squishy and I realize the smell.

"What is it hun, Oh my god," she comes closer, and inspects the pictures, and realizes the smell in the room.

"Call Jax." I say and leave the room.

It feels like an eternity before Jax comes, with Clay following in toe. "I am going to fucking kill him," Jax says and starts ripping off the pictures.

"How could I not notice someone taking pictures of me Jax for weeks! He broke into our house Jax, what would he have done if I was here, and god forbid what if I had Abel," I say.

"Emma, don't go blaming yourself," Gemma says coming up to me but I back up.

"Can you give us a minute alone," Clay and Gemma both leave.

"Babe, don't let this psycho-"

Cutting him off, "Jax is this what it's going to be like? Always scared someone is watching or following me, us? Always worrying about Abel being in danger because he is your son, and me being the mother of your child?"

"Em, don't"

"Don't what Jax," I yell, "I am sorry I am scared. It is not just me and you; I have a baby to think about an innocent life. He was only here because of SAMCRO and the gun running. Because you guys run guns. Not me, not Abel, you. What happens when you get caught? I am left here alone with Abel taking care of him as a single parent while you are in jail missing his first steps, first words, than I have to be the one to answer his question why his dad isn't here. Or why we can only see you on weekends. I just don't know anymore."

"What so that is it? You're running?" he asks getting pissed.

"I am thinking about the future I want for me and Abel."

"Am I included in that future?" not answering his question, "Do you love me?"

"Of course I do." I say taken back.

"Then that's the only thing that should matter," he says leaving the room.

Wiping the forbidden tears that escape my eyes, "Emma," I turn my head at the sound of Gemma's voice, "don't. You love Jax that is all that should matter. Don't let this bastard question anything."

"I have a doctor's appointment, I should get going."

"I'll start cleaning up while you are there."

Shaking my head, "Don't burden yourself. I will deal with it when I get back."

"Are you sure?"

"I will need it to clear my head."

"Alright, baby," she kisses my forehead and leaves.

* * *

"I have good news," Dr. Namid tells me while I am visiting Abel before my appointment, "Abel will be removed from the incubator tomorrow." Being excited, I engulf him into a hug.

"Finally, I have been waiting forever."

"Well honestly I think when you suggested to wanting to breastfeed him through the tubes it strengthen his system faster," Dr. Namid says, "but I wanted to tell you the news myself."

"Thanks, Doctor."

"No problem."

Going down to my appointment, I am given the clear for all activities, but as soon as I leave to go back to Abel I see Tara rushing down the hall to get to me.

"What is it?"

"I thought I should tell you, Jax is in room 214 for an injury," she says.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, I am not working that floor today, it doesn't seem bad, he was just limping."

Giving her thanks I make my way to his room, but see it is being guarded by police. I see him limp out the room, and being escorted. Seeing he doesn't look to bad, I decided to go visit Abel one last time before heading home.

* * *

Shampooing Abel's carpet, I jump when I hear the door slam, continuing my action I deliberately ignore Jax till he pulls the plug on the shampooer.

"Kohn's gone. I watched him leave town." Nodding my head, I go back to plug the shampooer back in, but he swiftly grabs it from me, "I'm not done talking."

"What is there to say Jax, as you can see I am in the middle of cleaning our son's room beside some asshole pissed all over the floor," putting my hands on my hips.

"I thought you would like to know, I was stabbed in the leg."

"Well good thing it didn't need to be amputated."

"You know what if you didn't want to be here you should have never got back with me. You knew the risks."

Red all I see is red. "Are you fucking kidding me, I wasn't going to. You were the one that kept coming back repeatedly night after night for two months saying how you didn't mean everything you said. I was doing fine on my own, _without you_. Most importantly, I never wanted to get fucking pregnant! I should of stayed away when Wendy showed up, and never told you I was pregnant. That should have been my sign to get out." I say pushing him out the way to go into our bedroom.

Following me, "All I am trying to understand is what happen, to make you start doubting. What clicked?"

"What clicked? Isn't it obvious, our house was broken into, our son's room was trashed, and we both were being followed. I am sorry, that it took me this long to have an epiphany. This life with the club, I don't know Jax, I am trying to be a good old lady and support you, and not let my mind get clouded with everything that happens pertaining to the club and other members. I mean look at Donna, is it wrong for me to be lying to her, when I know I would blame the club for you being in prison, but what can I do? I can't tell you to walk away; it's your god damn birthright to be the President of the club."

"I don't know what to say. I am not going to lie and say going to prison isn't on the radar, but that is the risk I take every day. When Clay doesn't have the gavel anymore, the club will change, I can promise that. Just know nothing will ever fucking happen to you. What happened today was the result of someone who was psychotic. I would never put you or Abel in harm's way. I fucking love you Emma, I wish that could be enough,"

"Just because we love each other doesn't mean we should be together, what happens when Abel gets older and knows what we are fighting about. All the arguing about the club, why is his mommy is crying herself to sleep. Don't act like we never fought about this before Jax. Wasn't this one of the reasons why Gemma told me I wasn't old lady material, why you kept this side of you a secret?" Shaking my head, "The sad thing is Jax being in this life; Abel and I are always in harm's way, and I put my child in this situation, not you, me. It doesn't even matter if I leave, because they know the one thing that connects us and will use it as leverage." I tell him not looking at him.

"I will sleep on the couch tonight to give you some space." He says leaving the room.

* * *

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
**

**-Tori**


	12. Chapter 12

"Abel gets out the incubator today," I tell Jax who is on the couch watching TV.

"What time?" He asks not looking at me.

"I texted Tara, she said Dr. Namid is still in surgery so most likely later on tonight," I say going back to the bathroom to start my shower. Getting into the shower, letting the warm water hit my skin, I hope it relieves some of the tension that I am feeling. I jumped when I feel Jax wrap his arms around my waist pulling me close and kissing my shoulder.

"We good babe?"

"I want us to be Jax, but I can't help what goes through my mind," turning around to face him, " I know you would do anything to protect us, but I always think about Abel, and don't tell me you don't think about it too, I would never forgive myself if anything happened when I could have prevented it."

"I do think about it Em, every day when I wake up next to you, I always think about wanting to give you a better life. Why are you with someone like me, but then you are my reason for living and wanting to change this club around just like Abel is now, if you were to go. I don't know if I could even survive or manage. I love you so much it scares me."

Leaning my head on his chest, "I love you to Jax, just give me something to know it won't always be like this," I whisper.

* * *

"I think I am going to visit Otto, I haven't seen him in a while since before Abel was born, and he is probably waiting for me to bring him a nice care package," I tell Jax as he puts on his kutte, and putting on my sandals sitting on the edge on the bed.

"Alright, oh yeah he told me to tell you don't bring him anymore sad ass books."

" I am trying to give him some variety, but _The Fault in Our Stars _was sad, plus with me having pregnancy hormones made it ten times worst, but who knew bikers loved to read."

Laughing, "What are you bringing him today?"

"Well some toiletries, book wise _East of Eden, The Hunger Games Trilogy, Rebecca, and Lord of the Flies_. Do you mind if I put money on his account?"

"Nah, babe, he will really appreciate it," walking up to me, pulling me up and putting his hands on my arms, "you know I am really lucky to have you," giving me a kiss on the nose.

"Will you be out late tonight?"

"If all goes well, I shouldn't, I should be able to come with you after Abel," seeing the smile on my face, "is there something I am missing?"

_Wow_, Jax forgot about my appointment, "No, I will see you at the hospital," giving him a kiss, "Jax, we're okay," hesitating if I should say this, "but you deserve to know what I am feeling."

"I understand, I really do, and I think it is better for you to tell me so there isn't any distance between us." He says kissing my knuckles.

"Be safe, okay?"

"Always."

* * *

"Hey Otto," I say giving him a quick hug, "I brought you some more books, and toiletries."

"None of that sappy sad stuff I hope," he says giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Otto, you need to expand your book genres," I tease.

"Between me and you, I cried like a little bitch," we both laugh, "it is really good to see you Em, it feels like months," he says grabbing my hands.

"It has, when I got further along Jax forbid me in coming down here." Thinking about it, I think Jax learned not to upset a pregnant person with the fight. Even though I was being difficult, but when he gave me the ultimatum of having him to accompany me to every visit it ended in me saying I didn't want to look at his face any longer than I have too, and him calling me an immature bitch before he even finished that thought remotes, ashtrays, and anything solid was being aimed at his head.

"I understand, plus it looks like I may have to have a talk with some of these guys now," indicting the men that can't take their eyes off me, and made a few whistles when I walked in.

"Don't do anything to get more time tacked on," I scold him.

"How is the mini Jax?"

"He is doing well; he gets out the incubator today."

After showing him the pictures I took on my phone, "You're going to make an amazing mother Em."

"Thanks Otto, you will make an amazing granddad," I tease.

"Now that makes me feel old, but your father would be proud of what you have become and accomplished."

In reality, I owe everything to Otto and LuAnn. Otto was my biological father's best friend they met when my dad was the club's medic for a neighbor club. Otto is like my surrogate uncle who would come up all the way from California to Pennsylvania to visit. Sadly, my father died from a car accident around the same time Otto got sent away. This resulted in my mom dating multiple men, and forbidding any contact from any of my dad's relatives and friends. My mom began drinking, and met _him_ who was a bigger drunk than she was. Finally after taking enough shit from them, I packed my bags as soon as I got my diploma I high tailed it to Charming. That's where I reconnected with LuAnn and Otto, and most importantly met Jax.

"I know you don't like talking about her, but have you heard anything from her?"

"It's been what two going on three years, I am pretty sure if she was looking for me she would have found me, or the piece of shit would have."

"You know you can talk to me about anything even him, does Jax know?"

"Otto, it is in the past, the only thing that needs to be known was he was a drunk," not wanting to finish the thought, "can we talk about something else?"

"Of course sweetheart," and for the rest of the visit we talk about Abel, how Jax and I are together again, and what I plan on doing when he finally gets released.

"Hey, Emma, Dr. Namid is out of surgery earlier than expected. So Abel can get out sooner," Tara calls me on my cell as I make my way back to Charming from Stockton.

"Okay, I should be there in 30 with Jax."

Screeching my way in the lot of the clubhouse, "Where is Jax!" I yell to Half Sack who is obviously enthralled by Cherry.

"In the clubhouse."

Running in, I collide into the hard body of Jax.

"Jesus Em, you alright."

"Let's go! They are ready to take Abel out!" I say grabbing his hand leading him out with Gemma in hot pursuit.

* * *

"We get to finally hold him," I say to Jax and Gemma while waiting for Tara to bring Abel out.

"Babe, it really makes me happy to see you smile like that," Jax says giving me a kiss. On queue Tara comes walking out with Abel, "you should give him to Em, first."

Handing Abel to me I can't even stop the waterworks that follows, "Hey, Abel I am your mom. I have been waiting forever to hold you, geez is there any of me in there you are the spitting image of your father" I whisper to him and see he starts grabbing at my hair cooing giving me a baby smile, looking up Gemma starts taking pictures, and Jax comes closer with tears in his eyes.

"I think I am starting to feel a little jealous," Jax says causing all of us to laugh.

Handing Abel to Jax, "You aren't going to drop him are you?"

"I got him, Mama Bear" and the tears start coming some more at the sight of Jax holding our son. Sensing our need to be a family, Tara and Gemma leave. Jax putting out his hand to me, and setting me on his lap, and shifting so Abel in mine, "Thank you for my son. Thank you for putting up with my shit, Thank you for everything. I love you so much Em."

"I love you too, Jax."

* * *

"I will call you when I get home, please be careful," I tell Jax after he receives a phone call about an attempted hit happening to Clay.

"Call me as soon as your car makes it into the driveway," Jax says giving me a kiss.

"I will."

"Hey I will follow you home, before I go to make it to the clubhouse," Gemma tells me as I make my way to my car.

Pulling out my phone I text Jax telling him I made it home, and say my goodbye to Gemma. Throwing my keys on the counter, and taking off my sandals I go to the bedroom, and sit on the bed. Running my hands through my hair, I realize there is a picture of me and Jax on our nightstand that wasn't there before with a pink rose. Hearing a sound of someone else's breathing, I look up to see Kohn, and try to run but he slams me into the wall making me see black. Becoming familiar with my surroundings again, I realize I am on my bed, with Kohn hovering over me removing my clothes.

"No screaming, you understand?" Kohn says putting a gun under my chin.

"Kohn, please you don't have to do this"

"Josh, its Josh, I am sorry I had to do this but all I need is five minutes, and there was no other way," while he is talking I try to think of an escape route or find the closest place where Jax has a gun locked away.

"Josh, I think you should leave before someone-," I jump when he yells.

"All I am asking for is five minutes."

"Okay, okay five minutes."

"I know that my behavior has been less than chivalrous, and I apologize for that. Sometimes love, passion, inspires a man's baser instincts." He loves me; this guy is out of his goddamn mind, "I am sorry about those things, and the pictures. I realize I shouldn't have trashed our son's room."

"He isn't your son," I interrupt him.

"Ughhh no interrupting let me finish," he says putting a hold on my throat, "You and Teller will never work. Once we go away, we will raise Abel on our own like the family we should be," coming closer to me he tries to kiss me but I jump back startled, "hey, hey there is no need to be scared. Let's start this relationship fresh." Laying me back, I let him kiss me once he settles himself between my thighs I make my move. I knee him in the groin, and grab his gun off the nightstand taking the safety off. Seeing him charge at me, I take my shot and shoot him in the lower abdomen.

"You stupid bitch! Call an ambulance!" he yells crawling into the corner of the room covering his wound. Grabbing my phone I call Jax.

Pacing the living room with the gun, Jax makes his way in, "Emma, are you alright," taking site of my lack of clothing, "where the fuck is he?"

"Back in our room, I shot him," I say burying my head into his chest.

"You stupid bitch!" Josh yells from the room.

"Give me that," Jax says indicting the gun.

Making our way back to the room once Josh sees Jax, "That's right see what is going to be mine, that pathetic whore of yours, once a biker slut always-"Before he can finish his thought Jax shoots him in the head. I don't even scream or jump. Sitting on our bed, Jax runs his hands through his hair.

Coming up to him, I put my hands around his face, silently telling him, I am here, and nothing is going to change that. Coming closer he kisses me which turns deeper, sensing my need he lies me back and starts removing the rest of my clothes.

"What about the 6 weeks?" he asks on my lips.

"I am in the clear," I say removing his kutte.

Coming back to my lips, he becomes more aggressive, and removes the rest our clothing and we get lost in each other for the rest of the night.

* * *

**So here is some back story about Em so far; it will play an important part for this story in the future. *hint*hint***

**So I kind of don't like the last part after Jax shoots Kohn, It just seems awkward to me, lol maybe just the idea of having a dead body in the room just got to me. But I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites. **

**-Tori**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Ring, Ring**_

Maneuvering my way out of Jax's arms, I answer my phone not seeing even looking at the caller ID.

"Thank god someone finally answer their goddamn phone, is Jax with you?" Gemma practically screams through the phone.

Looking at the clock on the nightstand, I realize it is six thirty in the morning, "Yeah, where else would he be," I turn to look at Jax who was peacefully sleeping but starts moving and mumbling.

"I just wanted to know he was safe, since the Mayans put that hit out on Clay. Hey, we have an Irishman that needs patched, and Chibs needs some assistance, you think you can come down with Jax?"

"Yeah, how soon?" As soon as I say this I glance in the corner of the room and realize I need to get rid of a dead body.

"Now would be preferable."

"Okay, I need to shower and wake up Jax," I say and hang up the phone.

"Who was that?" Jax asks sleepily.

"Your mom, Chibs needs help with an Irishman," I say getting up out of bed.

"Jesus Christ, she knows I hate you doing that stuff," running his hands over his face, "you go; I will get rid of the body."

"Are you sure?"

Looking at Kohn's body, "Yeah, if I need any help I will call Hap. You don't need to deal with this shit."

Accepting his answer I go to the bathroom and take my shower. When I get out Jax already has the body wrapped in a tarp and is tying it up with rope.

"I can clean the blood when I get back," I say walking next to him.

"I will clean as much as I can so it isn't noticeable, but I think you should start the redecorating you were talking about….You alright?"

Looking at him, "I feel like I should be sad or scared, but now I know he is gone that fear of him is gone, but still the gut feeling that this could happen again. I don't know. Just know this doesn't change anything between us Jax."

"Alright, I will see you at the clubhouse."

* * *

Walking into the chapel, "Jesus, he needs a real doctor," I say looking at the view of Juice's hand jammed in this guy's ass.

"That is why we got you, it's not like you never took a bullet out of Jax" Gemma says.

"Gem, just because my dad was a _doctor_ doesn't mean I inherited his mind. Plus he might need some type of antibiotic to kill any setting infection. If you know any black market pharmacist I would get them on the phone now. You're lucky I have most of the stuff to close a bullet hole wounds," I say taking out my supplies, "Give him some strong alcohol and maybe something to bite on."

"How's it look," the Irishman asks me.

"Like you got shot," turning my attention to Juice, "okay we are going to pull your finger out, and as soon as I do this we're going to stuff the wound with gauze, and close it with the clamp, okay?" Nodding his head, "Okay, ready, One,two,three."

"Holy shit," Juice exclaims after we successfully patched the wounds.

"You did great Juice, you helped saved his life," I tell to a smiling Juice.

Finishing cleaning up, and giving instructions to Chibs, I make my way back to Jax's dorm to clean myself up.

"Thanks for becoming the doc again, we really needed him alive, and I know Jax hates pulling you into this shit," I hear Gemma say from the doorway, "you really should have become I doctor or nurse."

"It's fine Gem, I am only on call for emergency only," trying to make light of the situation.

"You okay? You look wore out, did Jax keep you up all night?"

"I think you are the only mother who openly discusses her son's sex life."

"Well I had to clean up after him till you came along," she jokes, "but seriously are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am fine Gem; it was just one of those nights, oh Jax said we can start the repainting and stuff."

"Let me pay for it, I can work on Clay to fork over the cash," before I can protest, "hey, it's my treat."

Deciding to take a nap after Gemma leaves, I couldn't have fell asleep for more than twenty minutes when I feel the bed dip a little. Opening my eyes, I see Jax looking at me smiling, "Hey baby," I say smiling.

Giving me a light kiss, "You look so peaceful sleeping," he says smiling giving me another kiss, "I got most of the house clean and you don't have to worry about anything else okay. How is the Irishman?"

"I got the slug out. I told them they needed to get ahold of a street pharmacist to get the scripts, but it was fairly easy for me."

"You know I hate having you technically work for this club. You patched one bullet hole of mine than the club wants to put you on payroll."

"Well it is only for extreme emergencies plus as I recalled you put your foot down on that idea. Plus only the knowledge of watching my dad when I was like 10 can go so far as a club medic. Also secretly I think you like me playing _doctor_."

"You watch all those medical shows though; I could put you through med school if you want," he says playfully.

"Nah, I just want to be a mommy and old lady."

Smiling at me, "You have no idea hearing that makes me want to do to you."

Hovering over me, "Jax, there are a room full of people out there. Control yourself!"

"That never bothered you before," Jax says pulling up my shirt, "plus I can find other uses for your mouth since you like to scream."

* * *

After getting his regular nookie, "I think we should stay at here tonight; till this thing with the Mayans is handle, and we won't be in the way for the painters." Jax says rubbing on my shoulder in a circular motion.

"I didn't hire any painters yet, but if you think its best it fine with me. Should I be worried though?"

"Honestly, I don't even know where this came from with the Mayans to hit Clay and Darby. I mean it is severe shit to put a hit out on a President, so I don't know what is going to happen next."

"How are things with Clay?"

Sighing, "Depends on the issue, sometimes we agree and sometimes we disagree."

Before I can respond our door is busted open by Half-Sack mumbling about Jax needs to be at the table who obviously doesn't want a patch at the moment, I scramble trying to get the sheet to cover my upper body knowing Sack is getting a full show, while Jax proceeds to yell various profanities to the boy.

"I think he lost his brain than his balls," Jax mutters under his breath.

"Be nice, baby, I think he is sweet and very dedicated."

Giving me the stank face, "He just seen my two favorite puppies, remind me to put him on painting duty."

Going home to finish any cleaning Jax may have missed; I am utterly surprised when the room looks spotless. Grabbing some duffel bags, I start putting clothes in when I make a mental note to just put a stock of clothes in Jax's dorm since I took most of them out from the breakup. Going through the house I make sure everything is off and locked, and go to the hospital to visit Abel before going to the clubhouse. When I make it to the clubhouse, I am greeted by Sabrina who helps me carry my bags to the dorm.

"So Happy has you staying here too?"

"Just for tonight. He had to do something, but tomorrow he will be back." She says plopping on the bed, while I start putting away clothes.

"That sounds really vague, trouble in paradise?"

"So I told him I was thinking about babies."

"How did that go?"

"Well we were eating dinner, and I sort of blurted it out. I thought it would be cute to have mini Happys running around. His response was silence. Not a single word. Than when he cleared his plate he told me I could have a baby _doll_, or a puppy, and then asked me if he should start wearing condoms again. I don't know what to do here Em, I am happy for the most part with him and love him, but god there is only so much I can emotionally take. Like you would think after three years I would have adapted to his ambiguous emotions. I think I might break up with him or take a break? I mean it would be good since I don't have his crow yet" and she starts crying.

"Well, just think about it. You are his first old lady, and you got to think he is the clubs assassin basically. So I think his emotions are just stunted in general. I thought you we're going to wait to have babies or talk about them till he officially transferred," seeing the horrified expression on her face, "oh god what is it? Did he cheat on you?"

"I'm pregnant," and she starts full on crying snotty nose and everything, and at this exact moment Jax walks in, but promptly leaves.

"You need to tell him, when did you find out?"

"Last week, I am six weeks. It was for my annual check-up, but how am I going to tell him. He is going to think I did this on purpose and walk out and leave," the crying starts again.

_Emotional bitches. A pregnant one at that._ Obviously Jax thinks Sabrina is taking too much of his time with me, and comes back into the room sits on the bed waiting for her to leave. So rude. Knowing Jax is in the room, she bids us goodnight, and tells me she will talk to me later.

"You would think with Gemma as your mother you would have some manners," I scold him.

Giving me a what look, "Why was she crying?"

"Old lady business."

"Which really translate to we were talking about Sabrina and Happy's relationship."

"You are such an ass."

"And that translates too you know you can't stop thinking about this ass, as you love to dig your fingernails in this ass, or can't stop staring at this ass," giving him the finger, I change out of my clothes into one of his t-shirts, and wait for him strip down and join me in bed, "also I don't know why you bothered in putting on a shirt when you know I am going to rip it off of you."

* * *

Fixing my hair in the bathroom, Jax comes in and joins me leaning against the counter looking conflicted, "What?"

"Our full disclosure still exists right?"

"Yeah, what's wrong," I say putting the comb I had in my hair down.

"To put it bluntly we need to off an guy for the Irish, but that isn't a problem," cringing saying that but he continues, "the problem is Clay wants Opie to pull the trigger, he didn't say it upfront, but I know that is what he wants. But its Op Em, his mind isn't in this to be doing stuff like this. I feel like till his shit with Donna gets handle or simmers down, he shouldn't be doing any of this heavy shit."

Not really knowing what to say since I am not okay with Jax particularly tagging along, "All you can do is make sure Opie doesn't get himself killed or locked up. I feel we can only help Opie and Donna so much, Jax. I hate saying this, but you need to let them figure their problems out. They don't need us putting anything in their ears. At the end of the day, they know their relationship, just hopefully they figure it out before it is too late. Now you be careful okay?" I say grabbing his growing goatee.

Kissing me on the lips, "You going to be with Abel all day?"

"Most likely."

"Okay, I will stop by later. Maybe take you to a nice dinner afterwards."

"Maybe?" I quirk an eyebrow.

"6:00, it's a date."

* * *

**Sorry for the late update, I had some family stuff going on, but now I should be able to get back to the weekly updates. Sadly this part of the story is coming to an end!**

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites.**

**-Tori**


	14. Chapter 14

Sitting in the rocking chair provided by the hospital reading another book to Abel, I am distracted by someone knocking on the window to his room, a tall scrawny blond woman in a suit. Walking out the room, "Can I help you?"

Reaching out to shake my head, "Hi Emma Williams, I am Agent Stahl, ATF. May I ask you some questions?"

Quietly shutting Abel's door and going to sit on the lounge chair in the lobby, "Of course."

Joining me on the couch, "Thank-You, I am just trying to wrap my head around with your history with SAMCRO."

"Excuse me." I say taken back.

"Your biological father died when you were eleven, your mom has been a drunk since then and from what I could gather she is with a man name Clive Odom, who also has an alcohol problem. Your dad knew Otto Delaney, who is part of SAMCRO, and once you graduated high school, you high tailed it out of there and came here. Now you are with the Vice President of an outlaw club, and gave birth to the heir."

"They are not outlaws; they are motorcycle enthusiast and mechanics. What does my personal life have to do with ATF? What do you want?"

Smacking her lips, "Fair enough, do you know of any illegal activity that Jax Teller or the Sons of Anarchy are involved in?"

"No, I don't."

"That was easy. Listen, if you do think of something or you see something that just doesn't feel right, would you please give me a call?" Handing me her card, "Thank you for your time," She says going to leave.

"What exactly are you hoping to find? What does digging up my history get you?"

Not saying anything for a little, "You know Kohn never got off his plane in Chicago, and from what I know he did stab Jax with a pair of scissors, and I heard through the grapevine he took a liking to you." Looking through the glass window in Abel's room, "You have a beautiful baby, have a good day."

* * *

Hugging Jax, "I think she is going to be a pain in our ass Jax." I say after telling Jax what happened with Agent Stahl when he comes to check on Abel.

"Yeah, but they have nothing if they are talking to old ladies. If they had anything we would be in jail cells," Jax says holding me.

"Well I hope that doesn't happen Jax, the last thing I need to worry about is you in a jail cell."

"It is not in my plans Em, but don't worry about Kohn. He will never blow back on you. That's a promise. You won't get hurt," he says kissing my head.

"Okay, but on a more serious topic, we need to set some rules right now before Abel is officially home." I say pulling back from his embrace.

"Rules?" Jax says confused.

"Yeah, like I don't plan on being a single mother when I am living with the perfectly healthy and active father. I expect you to be home every night. No later than eleven."

"Em, I can't-"

Shushing him, "Don't interrupt me Jax, I am not done talking, you are this child's father. You will be here every night helping me putting him to sleep, changing diapers, and feedings. I am serious Jax; I will go into the chapel and give everyone the rundown. I am not playing."

Scratching his chin, "Obviously this isn't up for discussion."

"You are right, it isn't," I say turning my attention back to Abel.

* * *

"Can you believe this Emma, that annoying excuse of an ATF agent came into our studio, and started questioning me in front of clientele."

"Sabrina, calm down. The stress isn't going to do any good to the baby." I tell her when she pacing my living room on the verge of burning a hole in the floor.

Stopping and leaning against the doorframe leading into the kitchen, "I think I am going to tell Happy tonight."

"Well that is good, he deserves to know, if he does anything stupid I will chop his balls off for you."

Laughing at me added last comment, "Do you think he will walk out?"

"No, at the end of the day, Happy loves you, and he might not be happy about it, but he isn't going to abandon you or his child." Hoping this gives her some comfort.

"Well I hope you are right, I am craving chicken wings lets order some chicken wings." After ordering some chicken wings, Jax comes in.

"Hey Sabrina," Jax greets her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Jax, what do we owe the pleasure of your company?" Sabrina says mockingly from the couch.

"Uh I live here, shouldn't you be annoying Happy?"

"If you need some privacy all you have to do is ask, Teller." Sabrina says getting up from the couch and going out through the back door.

"What's up?" I ask him as he sits next to me on the couch replacing Sabrina's place.

"LuAnn and Cherry locked up."

"What! On what charges?"

"LuAnn had narcotics at her studio, and Cherry is wanted for arson."

"Damnit LuAnn. Otto is going to be so pissed." I say pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I think they are trying to use RICO, and you know Otto would do anything for LuAnn so that is there play on that one, and Cherry I don't know about her."

"Has anyone got ahold of Otto?"

"We can't get ahold of him, babe."

"So what are you going to do?" leaning into him.

"We got to sneak in the station and have LuAnn deliver the message to Otto."

Not knowing what else to say, "Should I save you some chicken wings?"

"Ranch?"

"Of course," Giving me a kiss on the lips he goes and leaves.

Coming back in from the outside porch, "Club business?" Sabrina asks.

"Yeah," and without knocking, Happy comes in with our food. "Don't worry girls, I paid."

"Did Jax give you babysitting duty?" I ask as Sabrina and I go and grab plates.

"No, I was looking for my old lady, but she seems to always be with you these days," he says looking directly at Sabrina. Talk about a room getting awkward.

"Hap, I need to talk to you in private," Sabrina quietly says to him.

"You can't say whatever you have to say in front of Em?"

"I can go.."

"No I already know what she has to tell me." That catches both of our attention. "S, you are a fitness freak, you work at a health studio, as much as I look at your body I am going to notice when it changes."

"So are you upset?"

Happy not answering for a second, "Well the timing isn't perfect I haven't even had a chance to get my crow on you. Plus with my mother being sick, but this will be good news for her."

"So you aren't going to leave?"

"Why would I? I would never abandon my kid; I love you, Sabrina Samarco. I am happy you put up with my ass for the past three years."

"Whoa okay I think that is enough emotional Happy I can take for a day. Can we eat the chicken wings?" I say causing all of us to laugh.

* * *

After eating dinner with Happy and Sabrina, I clean up the kitchen and put the extra chicken wings in a container for Jax. Making my way to the bathroom, I start my shower and while I am waiting for my water to heat up Jax comes there the door.

"Well I came home at the right time," Jax says walking down the hall stripping of his clothes.

"Jesus Jax can you put your clothes in a hamper like a normal person," I say as he makes his way to me.

"One day, but I think you are way over-dressed," he says unbuttoning my jeans.

"Okay hold on sparky, can you please tell me how is LuAnn first."

"Message delivered she is seeing Otto tomorrow, we almost got caught because she kept asking twenty million question about you and Abel." He says pulling down my jeans along with my underwear.

"That figures, anything else?"

Standing back up, "I had to take Cherry because she was going to crack, and oh Hale was all in Stahl, I thought she was gay." He says removing my shirt and bra.

"What!"

Putting his finger over my lips, "Can we like have sex first than you can ask twenty questions here afterwards."

Nodding my head, I put my arms around his neck and he lifts me up carrying me into the shower and I don't even remember the questions I was going to ask.

* * *

**Thanks for all the follows, favorites, and reviews.**

**Only three chapters left excluding the one-shots that were requested. **

**There will be a sequel I am currently working on it now so it might be up sooner than I expected it. The title is "Better Left Unsaid" and will be an combination of season 2&3. Too be honest I feel it is so far a way better and an improvement from this. I was planning on doing all seasons individually but decided to combine them to give an longer story, and not to draw this story line out too much, so I decided to do three parts of the Jax and Emma saga. So the third part of the story will be an combination of season 4,5, & 6. **

**-Tori**


	15. Chapter 15

Before I make my way to check on Abel, I check in on the studio, Sabrina, who is never at the front desk, runs up to me taking me to our office, "Donna hasn't shown up, she is never late. I have tried every number, but I am getting nothing. Opie's mom doesn't even know where she is."

"Shit. Alright, I need to check on Abel. I will get ahold of Jax to see if they heard from Op, but I will be back to mend the desk."

"Don't rush, we can manage, Em."

"Two hours, top."

* * *

"Abel is taking to the bottle, we put your milk in them, but also mix it once in a while with formula," Tara tells me while we look over Abel.

"How is his sleep apnea?"

"The last two nights, no alarms."

"When will we be able to take him home?"

"Probably tomorrow you will be able too."

Excited, "You hear that Abel, you will be able to come home with mommy and daddy."

"Can I ask you a practical question?" Tara asks.

"Sure," I gave her a puzzled look.

"I am not sure how to word this, but how are you going to take care of him. Like by yourself because I don't think Jax is ready." She says silently indicting the club aspect of his life.

"Well yeah we can agree on that," we both chuckle, "but I talked to him about this. How I wasn't going to be a single mother basically when he needs to be there. He will figure it out. Plus I found a copy of a _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ in his dorm."

"Well since he has you, you will lead him straight. You are going to make a fantastic mother Emma."

"You want kids?"

"Yeah, someday, but with school it is throwing it off. I am going to do accelerated classes to speed up the process, plus I have a wedding to plan for, so I fully expect to be pregnant under my wedding gown." Looking at her, I realize I am making a real ally in Tara.

Looking at my son, "Having Abel was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Being a mom is probably going to be my greatest accomplishment."

* * *

Before making my way back to the studio, I stop by the garage to see if Jax is there or if anyone has heard from Opie. Seeing Jax's bike is not on the lot I make my way into Gemma's office who is on the phone. Waiting for her to finish the call, "Hey Gem, Abel will be able to go home tomorrow."

"Really, that is great news. Good thing the painters are there today." She says coming up to give me a hug.

"Yeah, but have you heard from Opie or Donna?"

Before she can answer, we are interrupted by the voice of Opie's mother, "Gemma."

"Mary?" Gemma says and we walk outside. "What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," Mary says in her usual attitude, "Got a call from the feds, asking me to pick up my grandkids from the Department of Justice Facility in Stockton."

"Opie's kids are in a facility?" I say aloud.

"Apparently the whole family is," Mary responds. "I can't get a hold of Piney. Thought you might shed some light on why I'm schlepping my fat ass 75 miles."

At this moment Jax pulls in the lot, "Well let's find out," Gemma says.

Going over by myself to Jax, "What's Opie's mom doing here?" he asks and gives me a kiss.

"She's picking up her grandkids from the Department of Justice Facility." I say in a curious tone indicting I will want some details.

"Oh my god," Jax says putting his face in his hands.

"Did Opie get picked up from that hit you guys did?"

"Not sure Em," walking our way back to where Gemma and Mary are before Jax can get to her, "What the hell did my son do this time?" and walks away from us while Jax mutters, "Nice to see you too." Looking back at me, "I take it Donna didn't show up for work." Nodding my head, "Look I got some information I need to take to chapel. If you are able to hear from Donna please let me know."

"Okay, will I see you at the hospital later?"

"Yeah," giving Gemma and I a kiss on the cheek he makes his way to the clubhouse. Gemma coming up next to me, "Opie would never rat."

* * *

"Apparently the kids are in custody," I tell Sabrina on lunch break in our office.

"You got to be shitting me?" Sabrina says dropping some of her food, "This is going to cause a bigger wedge between them."

Not saying anything. I wonder what I would do in this situation. If it was only me brought into custody I could handle it, but Abel? Would I be able to stand by Jax no matter what if it at the end of the day my son can be hurt by it? Coming out of my thoughts, "What if this is what Stahl wants with making Opie look like a rat?"

"That is some twisted shit, people can seriously get hurt, but Opie would never rat. The club, his brothers, know that."

Not wanting to tell her my doubts I have been thinking, "Are you sure you guys can handle the rest of the day?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Give Abel kisses for me."

* * *

"What's going on Jax?" I ask him while I rock Abel in the rocking chair.

"I wish I knew," he says obviously stressed by the whole Opie situation.

"He can't go to jail again, Jax, Donna will lose her shit." Just like I would.

"We will just have to wait and hear from Op. I know he would never rat, but with the evidence he would only know that Bobby was involved Clay will just look at that, and not look at the full picture he doesn't think shit through."

"Are you sure there weren't any witnesses in the apartments? And what is going on with you and Clay?"

"It's club business, babe." He says avoiding the question completely about him and Clay.

"Are you really going to pull the "its club business" card. Don't forget Jax, you come home to me every night. I am your old lady. I feel what you feel; I know when you are stress, hurt, sad, and angry. I feel it all. I have been feeling it since I met you when I was 19."

"Em, it really is nothing right now, I want to turn the club more legit, I am thinking about the future, we are just butting heads on how that should work." He must have forgotten I know when he is telling me a lie, but I will accept his answer for now.

"Gemma wants to throw a welcoming home party for Abel tomorrow."

"Figures, but I can't wait for this guy to be home." Jax taking Abel from me, "Em, please don't worry about it. Really it's nothing. Just worry about this guy."

* * *

"Hey Gemma," I say giving her a hug when I see her in the house checking the work the painters did.

"You like?"

"Yeah, I do, we might need some new furniture, entertainment system and stand," I say rattling off.

"You make that much at the studio?"

Before I could answer, we are interrupted by a knock on the door. Going to answer the door, I am met with a crying Donna.

"Emma, you were right," she says rushing past me.

"Donna calm down it is alright," knowing she hasn't seen Gemma and does not think all the well of her I tell Gemma through my head nodding to get the hell out of here.

"You were right. Opie doesn't have a chance if I am not strong enough or support him," she says with tears rushing down her eyes.

"Donna, what happened?" I say getting tissues for her.

"It is that ATF bitch, she put us in witness protection. Why would she do that, put my kids through that."

"Why did they have you guys?"

"Someone I.D him, but the sketch isn't accurate. Stahl wanted me to rat on Opie or I should say the club, I would never do that. But I can't take this shit anymore, get out while you can you are free no wedding ring, Abel is just a baby he won't know or understand what is going on. Get out Em, I would never want you to go through this." She says pleading to me. Not knowing what to say she goes and leaves telling me she needs to get the kids from Mary. While I am here wondering how my life got so upside down.

* * *

**So there is only two chapters left, I will probably post 16 on Monday and the last one on Friday, so I can give my full attention on my other story, and work on the sequel to this. **

**I hope you are liking everything so far with this story, I am trying to balance Emma's struggle of worrying about Abel in this lifestyle, but I also feel it is important that she talks to Jax, something Tara and Jax never did in the show really. **

**Thanks for all the follows, favorites, and reviews**

**-Tori**

**Also, I only had three one shot requests**

**1. When Emma and Jax met**

**2. Setting up the crib**

**3. The altercation with Matthew. **

**If you guys want anything else while waiting for the sequel let me know.**


	16. Chapter 16

"So that is what Donna said she wanted her to rat on Opie or the club," Jax asks me after I recant what happened when Donna came over last night except what she told me about getting out at the table during breakfast.

Nodding my head, I realize my orange juice is now to warm for me to drink. Getting up I dump the remaining juice in the sink. Rinsing the cup out, I turn to face Jax sitting at the table watching me, "She won't rat, Jax. I think she realizes she can't pull him in any directions. Look what happened, he hesitated pulling the trigger, those few seconds were critical, look what happened." I say when internally I am so confused and scared what is going on. "Gemma will be here in a few minutes to help decorate, I suggest you go before she pulls you in."

Sensing me becoming detached walking up to me cornering me in between the sink and him, "Don't do this, please Em, please." Looking him in the eyes all I can see his fear in his eyes of me possibly walking away from him. It scares me that I can do that to him. I push away from him abruptly when I hear the door open.

"Hey Gemma," I say and greet her with a hug, and take some of the bag of decorations she has.

"Hey guys, good morning," looking at us she can obviously see the tension between us.

"Hey, Ma, I was just getting ready to go, I will see you at the hospital later," he directs towards me than Gemma.

Nodding my head, I go into the kitchen and clean up his mess, "Is everything alright between you guys, Abel is coming home you both should be happy."

"Everything is fine, Gem." I say between rinsing off the dishes and sticking them in the dishwasher.

Not saying anything for a few seconds, "I will drop it for now, but there is something more serious I want to talk about," seeing I am not going to stop what I am doing, "I was wondering if I should be saving up for a wedding anytime soon?"

"No."

"What do you mean no."

"I mean I don't plan on marrying Jax anytime soon, the timing isn't right."

"What do you mean it isn't right?"

"Gem, can we just start decorating the house, I really don't want to be psychoanalyzing my relationship with Jax right now. If he proposes anytime soon, the wedding wouldn't be for a long time." Grabbing a banner, I go into the living room to start hanging them up. Grabbing other decorations and following me, "Donna said something to you didn't she? Are you really going to let her put ideas in your head? The weakest old lady in the bunch."

"Don't say that about her. Everyone isn't like you Gem. Just think of it in her position. She was left alone for two years raising her kids struggling while Opie was in jail. Being a single parent."

"No I know how it feels. I felt that when I was with Thomas and Jax, while JT was in Belfast months at a time. I got through it because I had the club, my family."

"Well the club is what took Opie away from his family, from Donna. If the club didn't do what they did none of this would be happening."

"Listen real hard sweetheart, you decided to get back with Jax; you need to accept this club and be an old lady, and only an old lady. You are too smart to be in the dark, but you need to know when to stay in your place. You have a son now, and I don't want my son getting distracted because his old lady's head is going through a Donna phase." Looking at her, I wonder how she has been able to handle this life for so long. All the secrets, the lies, and the blood.

"How do you turn it off Gem?" I ask not looking at her and start hanging up more decorations.

"For you, look at the baby boy you have, and think about him. Look at Jax and remember why you fell in love with him, how he makes you feel. Think about Jackson Teller, your partner and father of your child. Not Jax Teller the VP of a motorcycle club." Thinking about what she said, I decide again, to let it go, and focus on the homecoming of Abel. "So let's talk about something more exciting, Abel. Are you excited to finally to be able to have him here?"

Smiling, "Of course, I just hope Jax is ready for this."

"He is, he will be, as long as you're here. He will learn like his father did. So while you are at the hospital, Sabrina is going to come by with more food, and help me finish put the final touches on things."

* * *

"Hey Tara, can I talk to you in private?"

"Sure," telling the other nurses at the station she will be a minute, she takes me in one of the lounges, "is everything alright?"

"How soon can I get pregnant after birth?" I asked embarrassed.

"You want another child?" she asks confused that I am asking this.

"No, I realized Jax hasn't been using protection and I don't want another baby right now."

"Oh, to be honest you are very fertile since your hormones are out of balance. We can take a test, actually an ovulation test, but I can have Dr. Namid prescribe you some birth control."

"The birth control can wait, but we can take the ovulation test."

"Alright, let's go."

Making our way back into a room, "So can I ask why you are waiting on the decision for birth control?" Tara asks.

"I want to discuss with Jax what we want in the future. Like does he want more kids, the timeframe for this, so I want to make sure the birth control I get works with our plan."

Listening to my answer, "I get some hostility towards Jax right now?"

"It is not really him; he is just taking the brunt of it." I say getting a headache.

Handing me the test, "I understand," she says giving me a smile. Going to the bathroom, I look at the test and wonder if I really want to bring another innocent life into this. I am actually really terrified if this comes out positive, and I could be pregnant with another child. Handling my business I hand Tara back the test to scared to look at the results. Sensing my fear, she takes the test and looks at it, "Well Emma it looks like you're not pregnant."

The relief immediately comes to me, "Thank god. Are you coming to Abel's homecoming tonight?"

Shocked that I am asking her, "Are you sure you want me there?"

"Yeah, don't worry about anyone else, or you will get premature wrinkles," I say making her laugh.

Walking out the room, we make our way towards Abel, "Okay I think Dr. Namid can discharge Abel soon, maybe you should call Jax to let him know." She leaves to go find .

Pulling out my phone I dial Jax's number and feel like the phone is ringing for an eternity before he picks up before I can say anything, "I'm on my way." Deciding not to respond I hang up and go back to Abel's room. Coming back Abel is wide awake, "Hey baby boy, you get to come home with mommy and daddy today," I say picking him up smothering his baby cheeks with kisses. Walking around the room in my own little world, I don't even notice Jax watching Abel and I. I am startled when I feel a presence behind me, but when Abel gives a baby smile; I realize it must be Jax. Turning around Jax gives me a kiss on the forehead, and turns his attention to Abel, "Hey little man, we're busting you out of the joint." Handing Abel to Jax, I go and find Tara and Dr. Namid to handle all the paperwork. Making our way to the truck, "I think we should trade your truck in for something else," Jax tells me as I strap Abel in his car seat.

"Alright, are you sure you don't want to just keep it so you can have a vehicle?"

"We can do that, if that is what you want." Shutting the car door, I make my way to the front, but I am stopped by Jax.

"I hate this Em, we were fine, than something blows up in our faces and everything turns to shit. You become distant-"

"Jax, I don't really think it is a good time to be discussing this in the parking lot of the hospital."

"Well when is a good time?" he says sarcastically.

Not answering his question, "I will see you at the house." I hop in the car and go back to the house.

Making our way into the house, Jax gets Abel out of his seat, before entering, "What hurts the most Em, is I know I am the reason you're becoming distant."

* * *

Opening the door, we are greeted by various people all wanting to hold and get a look at Abel. Escaping from the close proximity from being next too Jax, I manage to escape to Abel's nursery.

"Hey Em, are you alright?" Sabrina asks while I sit in the rocking chair hunched over.

Looking up, "Yeah I am fine, I just needed some alone time."

"You can tell me anything, Em, I know when you're stressed."

"Well first I thought I was pregnant again."

"Are you?"

"No."

"Well that should be a relief, what else is it?"

Before I can answer we are interrupted by Jax clearing his throat, "Can I talk to you alone Em."

Before I can respond Sabrina leaves the room. Looking at Jax I realize he doesn't have Abel, "He is with Donna," he says before I can ask my question. Walking in and shutting the door he sits in the day bed next to me.

"What are we doing Jax?" I say before he can talk, "Really? I try so hard to just focus on you and not the whole picture, but I can't do that. Would it be easier to not even do this in the long run? Let's be honest, because one of us will get hurt, I already did," I say laughing a little at the end, "Jax, I will be honest, I am scared. We have a newborn son, not just any newborn, a newborn with a medical condition. There are going to be nights where we both will be up, hospital scares, and running to the store because we ran out of something. Will you honestly be there? Or are you going to be too tired from dealing with the club, or I am here by myself because you are at Stockton? Or when I am too tired dealing with your needs will you find a croweater to deal with your needs?"

"So what, you just want to leave before we had a chance to become a real family, and you know you and Abel will come before the club, Fuck Clay and what everyone will think." I look at him trying to believe that all these feelings I will have will go away. That he would never hurt me again. Kneeling in front of me, "Please don't leave and go away, I will do anything and everything to show you that I am serious. Just don't go you and Abel are my reason for living."

"Jax, you didn't see Donna when she came here. She was so scared and terrified. I can't help but think what if we were in their position." Wiping the tears that escaped from my face, "We should get back, they are probably wondering where we are."

Not budging from his position, "If you want to get out, I suggest you do it now before it becomes too late and it hurts worse for me."

"Jax, I don't want to leave you. I honestly don't…."

"Than what is it, all I am hearing is you're scared. I don't know what I can say to make it go away. I love you that should be enough. I can't make any promises with the club because I am not president. Why can't you just be here for me, stand by me, and not worry about everything else? I just want you here. I want you to become my wife, have more of my kids, and I want to grow old with you."

Deciding to give up the waging war inside my head, "The only thing I can tell you Jax, is as soon as Abel is in any danger or anything happens to him, I am gone nothing will bring me back. If you cheat on me again, I will take our son and leave. Don't make me do that Jax, please don't."

"You won't Em, you won't," bringing me into a hug on the floor we seat there until I hear Sabrina call through the door everyone is starting to go.

"Jax, I really hate feeling like this, and thinking all these things in my head, god I feel like some type of emotional hormonal woman" before I can finish he stops me with a kiss and pulls back when we are breathless.

"Well babe you kind of are. I read women's emotions are out of wack so to speak after childbirth, plus we don't necessarily live a drama free lifestyle. Plus if you were to hold all this in, it could probably be way worse, but I love you no matter what." Not saying anything else we make our way back into the living room.

"Well look at you two disappearing getting some nookie," Bobby jokes towards Jax and I as I leans into his embrace around my shoulder.

"You better get it in while you can brother you have a lot of sleepless nights ahead of ya," Opie comes up to us and I take Abel from him who looks sleepy.

"I am going to put him to sleep," I tell Jax.

"You need any help?"

"I will give you a pass for tonight," I smirk.

Heading back to Abel's room I check his diaper, and settle him into his crib giving him a binky, before I can even put his cover around him my little guy is knocked out. Thank god, looks like I got a heavy sleeper. Checking to make sure the baby monitor is on, I leave Abel's room but crash right into Donna.

"Oh I am so sorry Emma."

"It's fine, D, what's up?"

"I was wondering if I could stay and help clean up?"

"Oh D you don't have to, I can handle it and it is time Jax learns how to clean," I say loud enough for Jax to hear.

"I heard that." Jax says from the living room.

"I know that was the point."

"No, I want to help. Gemma already gave me a list of things we need," she says holding up the list.

"Oh, okay," I am surprised when she comes up and gives me a hug. "Thanks Em, for everything," she whispers in my ear. Saying good-bye to Opie and the kids I make my way into the kitchen and start to clean.

"You okay, you and Jax work your shit out?" Gemma asks from the doorway.

Stopping what I am doing, "I think so, now I am just worried about now with Abel how he is going to handle that I can't always give my full attention to him, and may seek attention elsewhere."

"Emma, I wish you wouldn't think like this," Gemma says.

"I know, but it is still an open wound sometimes."

"Well how bout I take Abel every Thursday night to Friday morning, than rotate every other weekend?"

"Sure, Grandma."

"Bitch" both laughing we are interrupted when Jax says he needs to go but looks extremely worried and almost scared.

"What is it?" I ask walking up to him.

"Something happened with Donna, there was a shooting, Ma can you stay here till I get back," giving me a kiss he leaves.

"My god, I hope she is alright." I tell Gemma.

"Well let's clean up to distract ourselves."

We end up cleaning for about 30 minutes, I end up hearing Jax's bike in the driveway, I run to the door, and open it. Coming up to me, he picks me up into a hug to the point where I am able to wrap my legs around his waist. Burying his head on my neck, I feel wetness on my neck, "Baby, what happened?"

"Drive-by, didn't even have a chance, I am so worried for Opie," he says squeezing me tighter, I see Gemma discreetly make her way out of the house. Walking back into our bedroom he lays me down with him on top, he starts stripping me out of my clothes, leaning down an capturing my lips, "Please Emma, don't ever leave me again, I couldn't take it," instead of answering I take my hands to the hem of his shirt I pull it over his head, bringing my hands to his face wiping away tears from his looking him in his eyes, "I won't Jax, I promise."

* * *

**So update on the progress of the sequel I didn't know how difficult it is to incorporate the storyline of the season with an OC lol. But I am halfway through season 2 episode 6 exactly. But expect half of it too turn into AU and definitely the third part will most likely be all AU with some element of the plot lines of the seasons weave there way through. I am trying not to rush it but I know once I start school back up again I wont have the time I have now to focus on completing the stories. **

**So thanks for all the follows and favorites!**


	17. Chapter 17

Sitting in Abel's room feeding him, I can't help but to think how something so tragic can happen to Donna. I know deep down in the pit of my stomach this was a result of something from the club, but the person got the wrong target. Switching Abel to my other breast, I wonder if I can keep the promise I said to Jax last night. After Abel finishes, I change Abel out of his dirty onesie and make my way to see if Jax is still sleeping. Walking across the hall, I see he is up and smoking a cigarette, seeing I have Abel he stubs it out. Abel seeing his dad, starts squirming, both of us laughing lightly, I walk my way over and hand Abel to Jax. "How are you feeling?" I ask looking at him, knowing he got a restless sleep.

"I don't know. Nobody goes after old ladies so obviously the target was supposed to be Opie. I can't even begin to imagine what Opie is feeling and the kids," he says kissing Abel's head relishing in being able to hold him grabbing my hand, "I never seen Opie so broken, I don't know how he is going to pull through, but all I know is I don't ever want to feel that. Is that what you feel or think about every time I walk out the door?"

Not answering his last question, "Jax, nothing is going to happen to me, I am not going anywhere. Right now all we can do is be there for Opie and the kids, he will get through this because he has me and you."

Not saying anything for a couple minutes. "There is something else I want to talk about."

"What is it?"

"I heard what you said to Sabrina about you thought you were pregnant again." Climbing up on the bed Indian style, "Well we haven't been using protection, Jax. I took a test and it was negative. I want to go back on birth control, but I need to know if you want Abel to have siblings." Obviously getting sick of his dad Abel has his arms out at me scooping him up I take him and lay him next to the side of his father.

"Yeah, I want more kids. I would really like to have another kid soon so Abel and his sibling are closer in age."

"Well I well get on the pill or Nueva Ring, but we are not going to try for another kid till Abel is potty trained."

"Deal but I think I want another boy, and maybe a girl," he say bending down placing butterfly kisses on Abel's stomach and getting belly laughs.

"Maybe a girl?" I say. Of course he wants more miniature versions of himself.

"Well yeah, I got to prepare myself and I need a little army to help me chase away boys."

"So you say Jackson," looking at the time I realize it is going on 9:00 knowing that I am about to burst our little bubble, "we should get dressed and head over to Opie's."

"Alright, I will watch him while you get in the shower."

* * *

"Hey Mary," I say walking into Opie's house with Jax carrying Abel in his car seat playing with his toy keys.

"Hi guys," looking at Abel, "oh aren't you just precious; you two did make a handsome fellow."

Jax setting Abel on the table placing a kiss on his forehead, "Where is he?"

"Outside, with the kids," Mary says sadly looking at the window.

"It's good you are here Mary," he says and goes out the back door.

Taking Abel out his carrier before he starts fussing, I look around at the house which is now cold and doesn't feel like a home. Donna's absence is felt everywhere in the house, walking in the living room it is decorated with pictures of the kids, and happy times between Opie and Donna. The happiest one is the one of Opie and Donna on their wedding day with Opie caressing her pregnant belly.

"They looked so happy don't they?" Mary says from the doorway, "I thought she would have been able to show him there is more outside of the Life, but look what happens. My son is a widow and my grandkids don't have a mother. She was such a nice woman. A wonderful mother," she walks up to me looking me in the eyes, and gives me a sad smile, "and I don't want the same for you." and leaves me in the room alone, I am left with my thoughts once again. Going back into the kitchen, "if you need help with the kids I am here. I can take them to school and pick them up, or sign them up for some classes at the studio to keep them occupied."

"No honey you don't need to do that, you have Abel you need to focus on him."

"Mary, I want to help, please let me."

"Alright, I am sure Opie won't mind anyways."

Both of the men and the kids walking back in, I go up to Opie and try and give him the best hug I can with holding Abel, "Can I hold him?"

"Of course, Op," I say handing him off to Abel facing the kids I give each of them a hug which they all surprisingly return.

"Can we hold him after daddy?" Ellie asks.

"Yeah, but you would need to sit on the couch okay?"

"Come on Dad, let's sit on the couch," Kenny says looking up at his dad. Listening to his kids they all make their way to the living room couch.

"Can I talk to you for a second, babe?" Nodding my head, I follow him back into a spare room in the house. "I got to go to church to get an update on things; Opie said the funeral is tomorrow."

"Okay, I will stay here till Abel gets fussy. I offered to help take care of the kids too, maybe sign them up for some classes at the studio, and they both took a liking to Abel."

"They would like that," Cradling my face between his hands, "I love you." I noticed Jax has been saying that a lot since we got back together.

"I love you too," pulling my face closer he brings me into a kiss before leaving.

Following after Jax into the living room, Kenny and Ellie are playing with Abel while Opie has him across his lap.

"Auntie Em, I think Abel went to the bathroom," Kenny says plugging his nose.

Walking up and picking up Abel, he does smell, "You don't want to help me change a diaper?"

"Eww, no, that's gross, auntie." Kenny says making a face.

"I do," Ellie says.

"Okay come one lets go to the back room," grabbing Abel's diaper bag Ellie guides us to her room. Her room is practically spotless the walls are a deep purple, with posters of various Disney princesses.

"You can change him on my bed," she says.

"You want to do it? I can guide you."

"I am scared, what if I hurt him, like…" she says not finishing her thoughts and getting teary eyed.

"Hey honey, you're not going to hurt him," setting Abel on the bed, "come here, we'll do it together." Guiding her through the steps, she is already a natural. "She look that wasn't so hard." I tell her while Abel gives her a baby smile.

"He is really cute Aunt Emma, one day I hope I become a mom, I love babies."

"Well let's hope not too soon, you will give me, your dad, and uncle Jax a heart attack." Seeing she wants to hold him, "You can hold him,El."

"I don't want to drop him, mommy said he was sick."

"Here sit on the bed," I tell her and gave Abel to her, "Abel was sick, but now he is getting better, we just have to be careful, but he is fine."

"He looks like Uncle Jax."

"I know, there is like nothing of me in that gene pool."

"No, I can see it. Even though he has Jax's eyes, I can see you in there. Aunt Em, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure sweetie," I say taking a seat next to her.

"Why did my mom have to go? Did I not love her enough?" she starts full on crying which startles Abel. Grabbing Abel from her, "Listen to me, nothing you did caused what happened to your mom, sometimes bad things happen to good people, God decided that he needed your mom more, and he needed another angel. So now your mom is everywhere. Just think she is here with us right now, in you, and don't forget in your heart. Don't go blaming yourself. Your mom knew you loved her," I say shuffling Abel to my side to let Ellie lean into my side.

"It's not fair."

"I know, I know," I say rubbing her back till she falls asleep, where Abel also fell asleep also. Making sure she is comfortable in bed, I go in search of Opie, and find him in Kenny's room.

"Opie I need to go home, I can come back early in the morning to help get the kids ready."

Looking at me, I can see he didn't sleep at all. There is no life in his eyes, just sorrow, remorse, and regret. Checking back on Kenny who is also sleeping, he kisses him on the head and makes his way out in the hallway. "How is she?"

"She broke down a little, now she is sleeping."

"That's good, but for the morning, it is fine, Mary will be here to help."

"Opie it is fine I can help."

Not saying anything, "Is this my fault. Did I cause this-"

"Opie Winston, do not even go there. The only ones to blame is the one who gave the order, and pulled the trigger. Do not blame yourself. I will see you tomorrow at the service, and after we can talk about how we are going to take care of the kids. I will call later to check up on them, and make sure they have my number so they can call me whenever."

"Emma?" I turn around to face, "Thank you, and know Jax loves you, he won't make the same mistakes." Nodding my head, I put Abel in his car seat, and make my way back to the house. Pulling in our driveway, I see Gemma's car is parked on the street. Grabbing the car seat carefully not to wake Abel, walking in the house I see Gemma going through Jax's boxes from what he is moving in from the clubhouse going to Abel's room I put him in the crib and turn the baby monitor on. Walking in the kitchen where Gemma is at unpacking boxes, "Gem, you don't need to do that. I can do it and most importantly Jax can do it."

"It's fine, plus you have the baby now, and cleaning distracts my mind from the madness sometimes."

Understanding where she is coming from, "I can't believe this happened to Donna of all people. You should of seen Opie and the kids, I don't know how they are going to make it through this." I say taking a seat opposite from Gemma.

"They are going to make it through this because they have us, and the club." Of course she would mention the club.

"Gem, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if Opie backs away from the club, he is already blaming her death on him."

"That's just the grief, so is Mary still there?"

"Yeah, but eventually she is going to bail. So I will help take care of the kids. Sign them up for some classes at the studio; turn our spare room into a little room for them to crash in at night."

"That is real sweet of you. Those kids love you."

"Yeah, it seems Abel brings them comfort though, Ellie learned how to change his diaper, I think I found a babysitter."

"Well let's hope she doesn't take my gig anytime soon. Jax with Opie?"

"No, he said he to deal with some club stuff."

"How are you dealing with all this?"

"I don't know how to deal with it; I need to be strong for Jax, Opie, and the kids. So right now my emotions are on the back burner. It will catch up to me eventually."

"That is what makes you a good old lady," Gemma says patting my hands and goes back to sorting through the boxes, "I can watch Abel, why don't you take a nap or something, you look tired."

"Thanks Gemma."

* * *

Waking up from my nap, I hear a hushed voice in the hallway, getting up I realize it is Sabrina whispering to Abel.

"Oh you're up; I was telling him we need to be quiet because mommy is sleeping." Abel turning his attention from Sabrina's hair to me starts squirming, "oh someone is a mommy's boy just like his daddy."

Sabrina handing me a smiling Abel who starts playing with my hair, "Where is Gemma?"

"She left a while ago, I decided to stop by to see how you were doing, and offered to watch Abel, since I could use the practice."

"How is the little Happy doing in there?"

"Oh everything is fine, Happy swears it is going to be a boy, but I can tell it is going to be a girl."

Making our way to the couch, "Like Happy needs a miniature version of you. It is probably a boy, Jax told me we were having a boy, and look what happens I get this little munchkin." I say kissing Abel on the head.

"Well we plan on going down to Bakersfield to tell his mom, so I will need like a week or two off from the studio." She says quietly.

"I think we should close it down for a couple weeks anyways, see if an intern wants a permanent position first than put an ad out, and I think we need to hire some more trainers and instructors, also I was thinking about adding a daycare."

"It should work with our budget. Plus I think we should close down the studio for a week for Donna anyways."

"Okay, just give the workers a week with pay."

"Alright."

"Have you seen Opie?"

"Yeah, I stopped by earlier, he looks so broken, but I guess they found the eye witness to the case."

"What!"

"Yeah, they called Happy and he knew a lot about Witness Protection, and who knows what the club is going to do. How is Jax?"

"Trying to be strong for Opie, I think what scares him the most is that it could have been me."

"If anything were to happen to you I am afraid we would really lose Jax and his reason for living would be completely gone."

"You can't say that, we have Abel."

"You don't understand Em; you didn't see the broken man I saw when you guys were broken up. Yes, he has Abel, but do you think he could look at your son knowing he failed as a father and your lover for not protecting you. "

"Can we not talk about this anymore, when are you going to announce you are pregnant?"

"After we tell his mom in Bakersfield, he was adamant that she knows first before anyone else."

At this moment Abel starts to become really fussy, "When was the last time he was fed?"

"I think before Gemma left, so it has been a few hours, I tried giving him a bottle but he only had some."

Nodding my head, "Can you get me my nursing blanket, and his burping one?" Getting up she emerges from Abel's rooms with the right things.

"I took inventory," laughing I situate Abel who greedily starts sucking, "I see you have no shame in feeding him in front of company."

"It is only you, S, I am pretty sure if I did this at the clubhouse Jax would have an aneurysm."

"You know it doesn't even look like you even had a baby. You are practically the same size, all you have is the extra ass and tits, I hope I am as lucky as you."

"Well the breastfeeding helps, and we are active dancers too, but are you hungry because I am craving some ranch chicken wings."

"Sure I will order some, you want pizza too?"

"Of course." Switching Abel to my other breast I am instantly relieved of the pressure that was building up in them; after he finishes I burp him and place him in his little swing.

"You know being a mom looks real good on you," Sabrina says leaning against the doorway from the kitchen.

"Soon enough you be joining the mommy club too, I have a feeling Happy is going to become way more possessive if he was freaking out about your wardrobe."

"Ughh, don't remind me." After chatting for a little bit, I see Abel's eyes start to close and go put him in his crib, and the chicken wings and pizza have arrived, grabbing a plate, "Jeez, it is close to 10 o'clock and Jax still isn't here, I thought you gave him a curfew?"

"It is 11, he still has an hour, but aren't they dealing with the person under Witness Protection?"

* * *

When it hits 11, Sabrina leaves so Happy doesn't have her ass about why she isn't home, hugging her goodbye, I go back to check on Abel who is still sleeping. Grabbing his monitor, I set it in the bathroom to take a shower. After taking a quick shower, I put on one of Jax's SAMCRO shirts, looking at the clock I realize it getting close to midnight. _Where the fuck is he?_ Checking my phone, there isn't anything from him. Sighing I go and find a book to read till he comes home. I am jolted awake when I hear a door close. Looking at the clock it is 1:30, I must of fell asleep reading the book. Getting out of bed, I see Jax sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette. Not sure what to do, I decide to go see what is bothering him. Comer into closer view I see he has a busted lip. Walking past him I grab the extra First Aid kit I get under the kitchen sink. Coming back to him, I start cleaning his lip, "I don't know what to say here Jax, should I be pissed you are coming home this late, or do I want to know why your lip is busted?"

Looking at me with his crystal blue eyes he pulls me into his lap, "What I am about to tell you I need you to not overreact, and please just stand by me no matter what. I should have told you sooner."

"You're scaring me Jax." I say trying to get up but he keeps me locked in his lap.

"It all started the day Abel was born, when I was in storage finding stuff to use for the nursery. I came across a box of my dad's stuff, and I found a manuscript he wrote of what the club's original purpose was. It wasn't outlaw, it was real hippie shit. Than what happen with you and Abel, really put the book in perspective for me. I started questioning Clay about the future, and going legit, but of course what was going on with my family was putting noise in my head. That isn't even the worse part. Tig killed Donna, on the orders of Clay. He thought Opie was the rat, and Clay went behind everyone's back and his hyperactive sergeant at arms killed an innocent woman."

My eyes widening, "Are you going to tell Opie?"

"I can't that would just tear him up,"

"Jax he deserves to know, he is at a table with his wife's murderers, and you are not going to say anything?" Shocked that this loyalty to the club goes before his best friend.

"We're not going to say nothing. Don't mention to this to anyone not Sabrina, and not my mother."

"Jax-"

"Em, look what happened to Donna, Clay would kill you or me if we get in his way. I don't even know if it was him 100%"

"So what happened to your face?"

"We got the information on the witness, and I found out it was innocent 17 year old girl. I went to the house and found that they tied her up and Tig was going to shoot her."

"Oh my god" I say putting my hand over my mouth.

"Yeah, so you see the result of that."

"Where is the manuscript?"

"I put it in one of the boxes, hidden, so no one can find it."

"Okay, we should get some sleep before Abel wakes up for his four o'clock feeding." I say getting off his lap and putting the first aid kit away.

"Emma, I need to know what you're thinking."

"I honestly don't know Jax. You want me to keep who killed Donna a secret to her husband. Did you look at him? He does not deserve this at all. How would you feel if Clay did this to me and Opie knew?"

"You don't understand if I tell him I lose him for good. Those kids will end up losing their father."

"Do you see what this club is doing Jax? You expect me to stay here, when all the lies and deceit just killed an innocent woman, who is in the same position as me, an old lady. That could be me in that morgue, and all I would want you to know was who my killer was. I will keep this secret for now, but I am going to bed. We have a long day tomorrow." Walking back to the bedroom, I climb into bed not caring if he joins me or not I am answered when I hear the door slam shut. On the dot Abel wakes up for his four o'clock feeding, and Jax hasn't come back. Putting Abel back down, I go back to sleep till the alarm wakes me up. Since I am up early, I pump some extra milk for Abel in kitchen, and realize Jax has left his kutte at the table. Getting done pumping, I take a quick shower before Abel wakes up, and get ready for the funeral. Since I don't want to take Abel to the funeral, an intern opted to watch Abel for me. Grabbing Jax's kutte, I make my way to the funeral.

"Where's Jax," Gemma greets me when I arrive at the cemetery.

No sure if I should lie or not, "He said he needed some time alone, that is all I know. I should go see Opie and the kids." I say not giving her a chance to respond. Taking my seat I notice I don't see Jax anywhere and wonder where he is at since the ceremony is starting. Halfway through the service I look and see a figure approaching the service. As it gets closer I realize it is Jax. Getting up and meeting him halfway, I put his kutte on him signifying that I am his old lady and will support him in any and all decisions he makes. Turning to face me, I put my hands on the sides of his face, "I will stand by your side no matter what." Taking his hand I guide him to where I am sitting, and before taking his place behind me he places a blue carnation on Donna's casket, but makes sure to look Clay in the eye signaling he knows what he has done. Taking his spot behind me, he squeezes my shoulders, and I know everything is about to change.

* * *

**The last chapter for this saga!**

**But don't worry I have three one-shots to post and the sequel "Better Left Unsaid" is almost done so be on the lookout.**

**Thanks for all the follows, reviews, and favorites.**

**-Tori**


	18. Chapter 18

**So I am trying to write in third person, so if any parts have first person my mistake I re-read this a couple of times to try and make sure it all was in 3rd, but I might have missed some.**

**This is the one-shot of the "Matthew" scene I mentioned in one of the earlier chapters. The one-shots that I will post will not be in chronological order in timeline wise. **

**Hope you enjoy. Thanks for all the follows, favorites, and reviews. **

**The sequel is halfway done. Hopefully I will have the first chapter posted by the end of the month. **

**-Tori. **

* * *

Jax sat looking at Emma, who was pregnant carrying his child, but reminded himself how he fucked that up royalty by getting his dicked sucked by Wendy, because he was to fucked up to even realize what was going on, he honestly believed that the pregnancy claim was a just a plan from the croweaters to fuck up his life, he was pretty sure his dick wasn't even a close enough radius to get her pregnant, but Emma wouldn't even care to listen cheating was cheating, flirting back, a kiss, even a hug on her worst day was considered cheating. That is why he hasn't even taken a glance at a croweater, which left the croweaters more envious of Emma. Looking at Emma, he swore she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her blue eyes matching his own eyes, but the usual spark that would be in them are replaced with her eyes looking grey. Leaning back on the couch he watched as Emma was talking to him, she actually was sitting next to him and not across the couch since the breakup she would always keep a great distance between, she was talking about something but was too focused on her growing boobs, you wouldn't be able to even tell she was pregnant, but since he was well acquainted with her body he could tell.

"Hello, are you even listening to me," Emma snaps her hands in front of his face looking pissed.

Blinking his eyes, "Umm, yeah, you said you wanted to start looking at cribs?" Jax says taking a guess as she has a million pictures of various cribs, changing tables, and day beds. Looking at him into his eyes, he tries to advert his eyes somewhere else as Emma is the only one who can make him feel like a 2 year old crying for his mama, not even Gemma had this effect he could give her a poker face, but Emma could sniff out bullshit in a millisecond, "You know it is going to be a boy." He watched as her eyes widened before she could respond the doorbell rang. Despite being pregnant, she bounces up from the couch telling him she will get it.

Checking the time, Jax realizes it is 3:00 and she hasn't kicked him out yet. Usually he comes around 5 depending want he needs to do at the auto shop and her schedule at the studio, but today he surprised her and came at 1:00, much to her annoyance, but she has been blabbering around baby stuff for over two hours. Sighing realizing it has been five minutes and she hasn't been back. Getting up from the couch, and quietly making his way to the door, he sees a man and her holding chocolate and flowers what the fuck! Coming up next to Emma, "Who the fuck are you!" Jax practically yells at the guy who looks like he is about to piss his self.

"Ugh….I just came to ask Emma out." Is he shitting me, looking at Emma who is obviously looking amused at this situation grabbing the flowers and chocolate in her arms throwing them in his face, "She's pregnant asshole with my kid, and isn't interested. I better not see you face around here or her again." Grabbing the flowers and chocolates off the ground, profusely apologizing like a pussy he makes his way to the car.

Jax making his way back into the living room sees Emma on the couch with a playful smile on her lips "Was all the necessary Jax?"

Is she really being serious right now, "Who the fuck was that?"

Emma rolling her eyes and thinking he is overreacting, "He is just a guy I meet at the gym, Jackson. No need to have your boxers in a twist."

"What is his goddamn name?"

"Why? What is the purpose of knowing his name, it's not like he is the only one that does this." Emma says smirking at Jax.

"Are you fucking serious, who the fuck else does this? These sick assholes."

"Jax if you don't realize I am hardly showing, and word hasn't made its way around town that I am pregnant only that we are not together anymore." Emma states like it isn't a big issue.

Jax walking up to Emma standing in front of her from the couch "Let's make one thing clear darling, you are carrying my baby, you better not be messing around because let's not forget your pussy is mine and belongs to me if we are together or not."

Emma looking at him like his is speaking a foreign language, "Excuse me; my pussy certainly does not belong to you! I do not know who the fuck you are to even say some shit like that to me."

"Babe, that tattoo of my crow says otherwise, as long as it is there you are mine."

"This crow doesn't mean shit, dickwad! Now get the fuck out my house."

"Emma, don't forget this is actually my house," Jax counters back knowing that it is going to get her more pissed.

"Oh so now you want to really do this fine, I'll leave." Emma walking into the bedroom starts grabbing clothes and stuffing them into a duffel bag. Jax going to into the room, "Em, stop, I am sorry," seeing she is still ignoring him, "Em," grabbing her arm not prepared for her reaction she whips around and slaps him in the face, and starts punching him in the chest. Grabbing a hold of her arms pinning them behind her back he lowers her on the bed in top of her to try and stop her now frantic moving feet, "Shit Em calm the fuck down." He all but yells at her.

Relaxing under him, "I fucking hate you, I hope you know that."

Looking her into her eyes, "I love you too, babe, I love you, too." Giving her a gentle kiss he removes himself from on top of her, and leaves the house.


End file.
